Behind Many Powerful Women on Wall Street: A Doting ‘Househusband’

Suzanne Donohoe , a top executive at the private-equity firm EQT , started the month of September with a 10-day business trip through Asia and Europe. Back in New York, her husband, Matt Donohoe , was helping their three teenagers begin a new school year.

That was no simple task. Though the Donohoe children are close in age, each goes to a different school and has different extracurricular activities. Matt drove their 13-year-old to hockey practices in New Jersey and took all three children to Boston for a tournament. In between, there were groceries to buy, meals to prepare and homework to assist with.

It was all in a day’s work for Matt, who quit his job in 2007 to help out at home. A former emerging-markets trader with degrees from Georgetown and Columbia, he is part of a quiet but growing force of men who hold down the fort at home while their wives climb to the upper echelons of finance.

Wall Street has long struggled to elevate and retain women. A hotly competitive industry that demands long hours, frequent travel and the need to be on call constantly, it has been an unwelcoming environment for women, particularly those with children.

Women who have leadership roles in finance say that having a spouse who stays home—a househusband, if you will—can relieve that burden and allow them to rise. Even these privileged women, who have a spouse at home and often extra help beyond that, say maintaining the arrangements is a complex feat.

Chip Kelly has so far decided against going back to work because his family relies on his presence at home. Photo: Emli Bendixen for WSJ

For the men, being a househusband can come with a stigma: Society often still assumes men will be the bigger earners and women the primary caregivers. But that is starting to change.

In 45% of U.S. opposite-sex marriages, the wife earns as much as or more than her husband, a share that has roughly tripled over the past 50 years, according to a 2023 report from Pew Research Center. Dads represented 18% of stay-at-home parents in 2021, up from 11% in 1989, another Pew study found.

There are now househusbands at the highest levels of power. Doug Emhoff , married to Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris, gave up his career—as an entertainment lawyer—to facilitate her political rise after she was elected vice president. On Wall Street, the list of women with husbands at home includes the chief executives of Citigroup and TIAA, the chief financial officer of the private-equity firm Vista Equity Partners, and the global co-head of Blackstone’s real-estate business, among others.

Senior female executives whose partners also work say they have to manage an intense balancing act and admit to being envious at times of their peers whose husbands don’t work.

“The prototype of the person you are competing with, the people in nearly all of the successful positions, have a stay-at-home partner,” says Suzanne Donohoe, who was a partner at Goldman Sachs and KKR before joining EQT in 2022. “The disheartening part of the message is somehow you can’t achieve if one parent isn’t at home.”

She says she doesn’t think that is the case and knows and admires people in demanding jobs who make it work with neither spouse at home.

‘Safety net for a trapeze artist’

Many couples say they started out with parallel professions but reached a point at which the woman’s career accelerated. When one person needed to devote more time to parenting, it made more sense for it to be the man.

Chip Kelly was working in tech sales at an international startup in 2009 when his wife, Natalie Hyche Kelly, who is a Visa executive, gave birth to their first child. After the couple didn’t move quickly enough to get a spot at the daycare they wanted, Chip volunteered to care for the baby and work while she slept.

He took calls while pushing their daughter in the stroller. When she went to sleep, he worked through dozens of emails. The couple had twins a few years later. Around that time, Natalie was promoted and started commuting to San Francisco four days a week from Charlotte, N.C., where the Kellys lived. Chip tried to work while caring for the twins and their older daughter when she wasn’t in preschool.

After the family moved to San Francisco, Chip realised that he was neither doing his job nor parenting as well as he wanted to. He decided to devote himself full time to the latter.

“It was kind of becoming a no-brainer because my wife’s career was going so well,” he says.

The Kellys are now starting their third year in London, where Natalie serves as the payments company’s chief risk officer for Europe. Chip considered going back to work a few years ago, but so far has decided against that because his family relies on his being at home.

Chip Kelly at his family’s London home. Photo: Emli Bendixen for wsj (2)

“I’m like the safety net for a trapeze artist,” he says. “You don’t think about it unless they take it away.”

Kathleen McCarthy Baldwin, Blackstone’s global co-head of real estate, was nursing her second child in 2015 when her husband, Matt Baldwin, left his job as the CFO of a research firm and decided to take some time off.

“The idea of him not working made me very anxious, mostly because of my fears about what it would do to our marriage,” she says. “Would I be envious that he had more time with the children? Would he resent that I had this really exciting and demanding job?”

Matt told her he wasn’t worried. After spending a summer with their daughters at the Jersey Shore while Kathleen mostly worked in the city, Matt decided to make the change permanent.

These days, he rises at 5:30 a.m., before the rest of the house is awake. He makes oatmeal for the family four mornings a week, giving himself one morning off. On most days, Kathleen takes the girls to school while Matt goes indoor rock climbing.

After school, he and their nanny divide the responsibilities, with one taking the older daughter to sports practice, drama and guitar lessons and the other transporting the younger one to swimming lessons, violin and dance. Matt, who has become a skilled cook, usually makes dinner. Specialties include salmon, soft-cooked eggs and spicy pasta.

Kathleen says her husband’s decision to stay home created the flexibility for her to pursue other interests outside work, such as serving on the board of an anti-hunger nonprofit.

“When I talk with other women in this position, we all say our husbands are a very special breed,” she says. “They don’t define themselves by their jobs.”

Awkward moments

Not all men are as comfortable in the position.

One stay-at-home dad whose wife works in private wealth at an investment bank says he sometimes tells other men that he manages real estate—technically true because the family owns a few buildings. He says he can identify other men in his position at private-school functions when they say they “manage investments” or “run a boutique hedge fund.”

“We’re all out there, but we can’t say anything about it,” he says.

Paul Sullivan has been trying to change that. He founded a group called the Company of Dads after leaving his job as a columnist for the New York Times in 2021. Sullivan’s wife runs an asset-management firm and became very busy with work after the Covid-19 pandemic.

Sullivan already defined himself as what he dubs a “lead dad,” the go-to parent for everything from playdates and doctors’ appointments. But he found no support groups for men in his position. He reached out to senior female executives and asked them about the idea of creating one. They approved. Some said their husbands didn’t help enough. Others said their husband’s friends made fun of them, calling them names like “Mr. Mom.”

“Two things can be true at once,” Sullivan says. “Moms can be discriminated against in the workplace, and dads can be afraid to take a lead role at home.”

Sullivan now organises events for lead dads such as a Father’s Day beer fest and a March Madness get-together. He gives talks at workplaces and hosts a podcast on which he interviews therapists, parenting coaches and fatherhood advocates. He counts the husbands of Goldman Sachs partners, JPMorgan Chase managing directors and top law partners among his members.

For the Donohoes, having Matt at home has meant that he has developed a close bond with his children. Suzanne says it has given her credibility with her colleagues when she needs to attend one of their doctor’s appointments or sporting events.

There are still mix-ups. Schools often call Suzanne first if one of the children is sick or needs permission to do something even though Matt is listed first on contact forms. Once it happened when she was in London on business. She gently asked the school administrator to call her husband. He was at their apartment five minutes away.

Former New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu delivered a warning to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent during a recent visit to Washington: Already-high airfares will surge if the war in Iran doesn’t end soon.

Sununu, a Republican who represents some of the biggest airlines as president of the industry group Airlines for America, has for weeks sounded the alarm to Trump administration officials about the economic fallout from high jet fuel prices. The war, Sununu has argued, must come to a close soon, or things will get worse.

Administration officials have gotten the message.

Privately, President Trump’s advisers are increasingly worried that Republicans will pay a political price for the rising fuel costs, according to people familiar with the matter. Many of those advisers are eager to end the war, hoping prices will begin to moderate before November’s midterm elections.

The fallout from the U.S.-Israeli attack in late February has slowed traffic through the Strait of Hormuz, a vital shipping lane, triggering a sharp increase in oil, gasoline and jet-fuel prices.

That means consumers are grappling with high costs ahead of the summer travel season, as they consider vacation plans.

Sixty-three per cent of Americans said they put a great deal or a good amount of blame on Trump for the increase in gas prices, according to a new poll conducted by NPR, PBS and Marist.

More than 8 in 10 Americans said struggles at the gas pump are putting strain on their finances.

Jet-fuel prices roughly doubled in a matter of weeks after the war began, and they have remained high. Airlines have said that will add billions of dollars of additional expenses this year, squeezing profit margins.

U.S. airlines spent more than $5 billion on fuel in March—up 30% from a year earlier, according to government data.

Carriers have been raising ticket prices, hoping to pass the cost along to consumers, and they are culling flights that will no longer make money at higher price levels.

In March, the price of a U.S. domestic round-trip economy ticket rose 21% from a year earlier to $570, according to Airlines Reporting Corp., which tracks travel-agency sales.

So far, airlines have said the higher fares haven’t deterred bookings and they are hoping to recoup more of the fuel-cost increases as the year goes on.

Earlier this week, Trump said the current price of oil is “a very small price to pay for getting rid of a nuclear weapon from people that are really mentally deranged.”

Secretary of State Marco Rubio told reporters that if Iran got a nuclear weapon, the country would have more leverage to keep the strait closed and “make our gas prices like $9 a gallon or $8 a gallon.”

Trump has taken steps in recent days to bring the war to an end. Late Tuesday, the president paused a plan to help guide trapped commercial ships out of the Strait of Hormuz, expressing optimism that a deal could be reached with Iran to end the conflict.

Crude oil prices fell below $100 a barrel on Wednesday, after reports that Iran and the U.S. are working with mediators on a one-page framework to restart negotiations aimed at ending the conflict and opening the strait.

Sununu said Trump administration officials are conscious of the economic fallout from the war: “They get it…and I think that’s why they’re trying to get through the war as fast as they can.”

But he cautioned that it could take months for prices to return to prewar levels.

“Ticket prices won’t go down immediately” after the strait is fully reopened, Sununu said. “You’re looking at elevated ticket prices through the summer and fall because it takes a while for the prices to go down.”

Since the initial U.S.-Israeli attack in late February, Sununu has met in Washington with National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett, representatives from the Transportation Department and senior White House officials.

A White House official confirmed that Hassett and Sununu have discussed the effect of increased fuel prices on the airline industry. The official said the conversation touched on how the industry can mitigate the impact of high jet fuel prices on consumers.

“The president and his entire energy team anticipated these short-term disruptions to the global energy markets from Operation Epic Fury and had a plan prepared to mitigate these disruptions,” White House spokeswoman Taylor Rogers said, pointing to the administration’s decision to waive a century-old shipping law in a bid to lower the cost of moving oil.

Rogers said the administration is working with industry representatives to “address their concerns, explore potential actions, and inform the president’s policy decisions.”

A Treasury Department spokesman pointed to Bessent’s recent comments on Fox News that the U.S. economy remains strong despite price increases. The spokesman said Treasury officials have met with airline executives, who have reaffirmed strong ticket bookings.

“We’re cognizant that this short-term move up in prices is affecting the American people, but I am also confident, on the other side of this, prices will come down very quickly,” Bessent told Fox News on Monday.

The war has already contributed to one casualty in the industry: Spirit Airlines. Company representatives have said they were forced to close the airline because the sustained surge in jet-fuel prices derailed the company’s plan to emerge from chapter 11 bankruptcy.

The Trump administration and Spirit failed to come to an agreement for the company to receive a financial lifeline of as much as $500 million from the federal government.

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy has argued that the Iran war wasn’t the cause of Spirit’s demise, pointing to the company’s past financial struggles, as well as the Biden administration’s decision to challenge a merger with JetBlue.

Other budget airlines have also turned to the federal government for help since the U.S.-Israeli attack. A group of budget airlines last month sought $2.5 billion in financial assistance to offset higher fuel costs, and they separately wrote to lawmakers asking for relief from certain ticket taxes.

Behind Many Powerful Women on Wall Street: A Doting ‘Househusband’

More men are staying home to facilitate the complex juggle of family life and their wives’ high-powered careers

‘Safety net for a trapeze artist’

Awkward moments

Administration officials have spoken to the airline industry, which has voiced concerns about the rising costs.