Stop Obsessing About Work All the Time
A revenge fantasy about your boss. Your to-do list. That flop of a meeting. You need to quit ruminating about your job. Here’s how to do it.
A revenge fantasy about your boss. Your to-do list. That flop of a meeting. You need to quit ruminating about your job. Here’s how to do it.
It’s one thing to work long hours. It’s another to surrender your free time to swirling thoughts of office predicaments and projects hanging over your head.
Many of us can’t let work go. It’s sinking our mental health and damaging our relationships. We need to shift the approach in our heads.
Joe Mellin thought maybe a week alone in the woods would do it. He journeyed by plane, bus and minivan to a remote pocket of Colorado for a program that coordinates solo wilderness excursions. Armed with a toothbrush, a journal and some dried split peas, the 41-year-old hunkered down to meditate and find out who he was.
Turned out, he was someone who really liked obsessing about his job.
“I was literally saying, Joe, you’re in Colorado, you’re off work, you’re in the middle of a forest, stop thinking about work,” the Washington-based tech worker recalls. By hour 36, in the quiet of his sleeping bag under the moon, he gave in. Soon he was sketching PowerPoint presentations in his journal, filling 20 pages with notes before he was finally able to let go.
Whether you’re on a spiritual quest in Colorado or at the playground with your kids, internally troubleshooting next week’s client pitch or entertaining revenge fantasies about a colleague, there’s a cost.
“You’re getting aggravated anew each time,” says Guy Winch, a psychologist and author who fashioned a TED Talk on the subject.
We often think we have to fix our jobs to relieve our work stress. “You might,” he says. “But fix you first.”
Start by tracking how much time you’re spending ruminating about work, Winch says. For many of his patients, that’s 10 to 20 hours a week—after-hours. (At the office, we’re generally too busy doing the job to perseverate about it, he says.)
To stop the cycle, tax your mental capacity with something more complex than Netflix or a walk. Try a memory task like naming all 50 state capitals or recalling the items in your fridge, Winch suggests. Two to three minutes is often enough for a reset.
Then, channel what you had been obsessing about into something useful. Ask yourself: What’s the actual problem to be solved? If you’re worried about workload, can you delegate to teammates or decline meetings?
If there’s nothing to be done about the situation—some co-workers are just annoying—try to find the silver lining, Winch adds. Maybe this is the spark you finally need to find a new, better job. Maybe you’re building skills that will help you in the future.
We’re bombarded with emails, Slack messages and back-to-back Zoom calls during the day, so it’s no wonder we can’t turn off our brains when we shut the laptop. We mentally brace for pings of all kinds, even when they’re not coming.
And some of this is on us. So many employees have tied their identities to their jobs.
“They’ve defined their whole value this way, so it makes it that much harder to let go of things,” Rebecca Zucker, an executive coach, observes of some of her clients. “Something that goes badly at work can feel annihilating.”
Lauren Orcutt, a 36-year-old in Sacramento, Calif., loves being a copywriter. Some of her friends and family don’t love constantly hearing about it, she says.
“I think about it so much, it just comes out,” she explains.
She’s often up at 3 a.m., galvanised by an idea for a new blog post or needled by the realisation she messed up an email. “I kind of felt like I was working all night” for months, she says. Her sleep suffered.
To reclaim her brain space, Orcutt started jotting down her thoughts in a lavender notebook she now keeps on the nightstand. Mistakes that are plaguing her get their own page, which she rips out in the morning.
“I am going to throw it away and move on with my life,” she says. Even capturing the good ideas calms her, helping her drift back to sleep.
Ruminating about work can make it hard to fall and stay asleep, and damage our mood and mental health, says Verena C. Haun, a professor at the Julius Maximilian University in Würzburg, Germany, who studies psychological detachment from work. Depleted, we often perform worse at work the next day.
She suggests marking the transition from work with a simple ritual, like washing out your coffee cup or changing clothes. Find a hobby, or three, that make you truly forget about work while you’re doing them. Set a goal, say, an hour spent gardening, especially on stressful work days.
You can’t think about work when you’re trying not to crash a boat, Jackie Hermes, the chief executive of a marketing firm, says she discovered. When the onset of the pandemic caused her business’s revenue to drop 40%, she rethought her relationship, once all-consuming, with her job.
“Is this really what I’m dedicating my entire life to?” she asked herself.
She doesn’t work less hours now, but she has changed how she thinks about work, allowing herself more flexibility and trying new things in her personal life. During the day, she’ll sometimes pop into the boating club she recently joined or catch a Milwaukee Brewers game at the ballpark.
“Work isn’t the only priority anymore,” she says, noting that so much about our jobs is out of our control anyway.
Now she tells herself, “I’m not behind. It’s always going to get done.”
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A new report on the impact of cost of living pressures reveals a stark contrast between age groups in investment strategies
Four in five Australians say they have changed their investment and savings goals over the past 12 months, with 44 percent doing so primarily to make ends meet during the cost–of–living crisis. A further 25 percent say they’ve switched strategies to protect their wealth against inflation, according to a new survey by financial advisory firm, Findex.
The Superannuation and Retirement Insights report shows Australians have also changed their goals to grow their wealth (31 percent), to create a regular income stream (29 percent) and to reduce taxes (17 percent). Transferring wealth to their children or other family members has motivated 10 percent of Australians to alter their investment plans, which is likely reflective of the increasing role played by the Bank of Mum and Dad in young people’s first home purchases.
The report found that traditional investment avenues, such as property and superannuation, remain the most popular choices, with more than eight out of 10 survey respondents ranking these asset classes highly. But there is also an increasing inclination towards investments that offer the potential for quicker returns, additional perceived safety, and better liquidity or accessibility to funds.
Eighty percent of survey respondents also nominated bank savings as among their top five investment choices right now, followed by shares (66 percent) and cash (51 percent).
“This shift reflects a broader strategy to mitigate current financial uncertainties, balancing the pursuit of long-term wealth accumulation with the need for immediate financial security,” the report says.
While superannuation is considered a cornerstone investment for retirement and long-term wealth accumulation, 85 percent of Australians are exploring investments outside superannuation. The most common investments outside super are bank savings (64 percent), property (38 percent), cash (35 percent) and shares (34 percent).
However, when the data is broken down by generation, stark differences are revealed in how each age cohort chooses to invest their spare income and why.
Outside superannuation, Baby Boomers prefer to invest in bank savings (60 percent), property (50 percent) and shares (46 percent).
By far, their primary motivation for investing is planning for retirement (80 percent). They also want to build wealth (51 percent) and support their children or other family members (25 percent). Other motivations include preserving wealth to beat inflation (22 percent) and paying off a mortgage or other debt (20 percent). They are the least likely generation to be saving for an investment property.
Gex Xers prefer to invest in bank savings (57 percent), property (43 percent) and shares (36 percent).
They are motivated to invest for retirement (66 percent), to build wealth (50 percent), to save for emergencies (36 percent), and to pay off a mortgage or other debt (30 percent). Interestingly, Gen X is the generation most concerned with supporting their children or family members (33 percent). This may be because Gen Xers have grown up during Australia’s long-standing property boom that began in the late 1990s and continues today.
Millennials have the strongest interest in bank savings as an investment avenue (70 percent), followed by property at 41 percent. They also like cash (35 percent) and shares (33 percent). Millennials have the highest uptake of exchange-traded funds (ETFs) at 21 percent. ETFs are a relatively new type of asset class, with the first ones trading on the ASX in 2001. ETFs are a basket of shares that can be purchased in a single transaction for instant diversification. Millennials are also the generation most interested in cryptocurrencies, with 22 percent invested.
Their biggest motivations for investing are to build wealth (55 percent), save for emergencies (50 percent) and plan for retirement (49 percent). They also want to support their kids (32 percent) and pay off their mortgage (32 percent). Millennials are the generation most likely to be saving for an investment property (28 percent) rather than a first home (17 percent).
Gen Zs spread their money across more asset classes than their elders. They like investing in bank savings (66 percent), cash (42 percent), shares (22 percent), ETFs (17 percent), property (14 percent) and cryptocurrencies (13 percent).
While Gen Zs are the youngest age cohort within the survey, they also have long-term goals just like their elders. The biggest motivation to invest among Gen Zs is to build wealth (52 percent). More Gen Zs are saving for a first home than any other generation, with 42 percent pursuing this goal. They are also the generation most concerned with preserving wealth to beat inflation (29 percent). Gen Zs also want short-term security, with 46 percent saving for emergencies. They’re also the generation most likely to be saving for other major purchases like a car or holiday (41 percent) and investing just for enjoyment (26 percent).
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