How to Retire Better, From Retirees Who Learned the Hard Way
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How to Retire Better, From Retirees Who Learned the Hard Way

Lessons from retirees on the biggest regrets of their postwork lives

By VERONICA DAGHER
Tue, Jul 4, 2023 8:05amGrey Clock 4 min

Thousands of Americans retire every day short on cash, friendships and plans.

Many retirees say they realised too late how they could have prepared for a more financially secure and rewarding postwork life. They would have focused on saving more money to cover the higher cost of living. Or they would have put more time into building relationships, taking better care of their health or cultivating new pursuits.

One reason retirement is so hard to prepare for is we often lack models of postwork life to emulate, retirees and financial advisers say. Though our culture is awash with images of professional success, we are a little hazier on what retirement success looks like and what it takes to achieve.

To sharpen that picture, we asked retirees about what they would do differently if given a second chance. Their regrets offer insights that can help people think and plan better at every life stage.

“Regret makes us feel bad, but it can help us do better,” said Daniel Pink, who researched people’s relationships to regret across a range of areas for his book “The Power of Regret.”

Here are three lessons retirees say they wish they had known sooner.

Investing for retirement means more than money

Jim Pilzner, a retired entrepreneur, regrets not setting goals for himself when he retired about four years ago. Now 78, he found there is only so much golf to play and only so many lunches to go to.

“I would counsel my younger self, and any other active, achieving person to recognise what drives them and what success really means,” said Pilzner.

He eventually figured out that the two things that motivated him most during his career—taking action and learning new things—were the same recipe he needed for retirement.

So this spring he enrolled at University of Nevada, Reno with two classes (earning a 4.0) and will be full-time in the fall. He is studying for a degree in political science and history.

Retirees frequently don’t realise how much their career provided a sense of identity and self-worth. Many fail to grasp the need to plan for a different source of purpose in retirement, said Betty Wang, a financial adviser in Denver.

People carefully plan how they will spend money in retirement but often give far less thought to how to spend their time.

Jay Holt, 74, regrets not retiring sooner. He planned to spend his postwork years playing polo. But in 2015, he fell while playing and had to give up the sport.

The resident of Cincinnatus, N.Y., who retired in 2013 at age 64, now wishes he had had a few more years in which to enjoy this activity.

Relationships are the key to retirement

The best predictor of longevity, health and happiness in later life is the quality of your relationships. That is the finding of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has followed families for decades.

Dan Roberts, 72, in Idyllwild, Calif., wishes he had kept up with former colleagues for personal and professional reasons.

Roberts retired about 18 months ago. Soon after, his son and his family, who were living just two hours away, moved to New Zealand.

Roberts and his wife, Robin Roberts, said only two visits a year are doable on their budget. He said he would have been able to afford more-frequent trips had he kept the door open to contract work by maintaining both his relationships with former colleagues and a project-management certification.

“We miss our grandchildren terribly,” his wife said.

David Edmisten, an adviser in Prescott, Ariz., said clients sometimes regret delaying retirement for this reason. The extra years working come at the cost of missing time with family and friends and postponing trips, he said.

“Some even had people close to them pass away and regret not being able to spend more time with their loved ones while they still could,” Edmisten said.

Retirement is longer than you think

Arthur Parmentier, 69, regrets retiring at 65, rather than working a few more years, partly because he missed out on a few more years of contributions to his retirement account.

The Providence, R.I., resident claimed Social Security at 65, accepting a lower monthly benefit than he would have received by waiting.

“Had I waited two more years or maybe three, I would have been quite comfortable, but right now, I’m living on Social Security and trying not to touch my IRA,” said Parmentier. “I think now that I may live well into my 80s, so I have to be prepared for that and make sure my IRA will last me throughout those years.”

The life expectancy for a 65-year-old is 84 for men and nearly 87 for women, according to projections by the Society of Actuaries based on 2019 data. Surveys suggest many Americans vastly underestimate those numbers. Of 1,500 adults ages 45 to 80 polled by the Society of Actuaries in 2015, 41% of pre retirees and 37% of retirees underestimated their life expectancy by five or more years, while 14% of pre retirees and 18% of retirees underestimated it by two to four years.

Social Security allows people to start their retirement benefits any time between ages 62 and 70, and increases the payment for every month of delay.

For many, the math favours starting at 70, when monthly benefits before cost-of-living adjustments are 76% higher than at 62, according to Laurence Kotlikoff, a Boston University economist.

A person who postpones benefits until age 70 instead of 62 would have to live to at least 80 to come out ahead, said Kotlikoff, founder of MaximizeMySocialSecurity.com, which advises people on claiming decisions.



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China is launching the first regular Arctic cargo route to Europe, offering faster journeys and lower fuel costs as melting ice and Red Sea risks reshape global shipping.

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Note: Usual Northern Sea Route shown for illustrative purposes Source: Sea Legend Daniel Kiss/WSJ

Shipping cargo through an Arctic shortcut never made economic sense—until now.

Climate change and war in the Middle East are flipping the math that previously kept ships plying longer routes from Asia to Europe. A Chinese company on Saturday is starting the first regular cargo service to Europe through Arctic waters, seeking to reap the benefits of quicker travel time and less fuel use.

The shipper Sea Legend will dispatch the Dubai Tower from Ningbo, China, to Felixstowe in the U.K. on what it calls the Arctic Express, following a route along Russia’s north coast. The voyage by the vessel, which is capable of carrying 1,740 20-foot containers, is the biggest commercial step in the Arctic since a Maersk containership first completed the route in 2018.

Global warming is a big factor behind the new route, but it is not the only one. Nearly half the Arctic region’s summer ice—an area four times the size of Texas—has melted over five decades, clearing a fairly reliable path in the summer months. Meanwhile, high oil prices and attacks by Houthi rebels in the Red Sea have made the traditional routes costlier and more dangerous.

Members of China's 16th Arctic Ocean scientific expedition team take selfies on the ice surface.
Members of a Chinese scientific expedition team on surface ice in the Arctic Ocean this week. Wen Jinghua/Xinhua/ZUMA Press

Beyond that, Beijing has ambitions to play a role in the Arctic’s future, lending a geopolitical dimension to the Chinese company’s shipping route.

Last year Sea Legend completed a trial run from Asia to Europe in a record 20 days. That is roughly half the time of a voyage via Africa’s Cape of Good Hope that many carriers now take because of the Red Sea uncertainty.

Fuel accounts for 70% or more of the costs while at sea, said Alan Murphy, a former Maersk analyst who runs research firm Sea-Intelligence.

Saving fuel by shortening the journey doesn’t automatically make a route profitable. Insurance premiums for the Arctic are 40% higher than the Cape of Good Hope route, said Jonathan Steenberg, an economist at credit insurer Coface. Sea Legend’s Arctic vessels are relatively small. And even after warming, an icebreaker is still sometimes needed to help the cargo ship.

But if the ship can go without an icebreaker, Coface said the Arctic route is now cheaper than a Cape of Good Hope voyage in some circumstances. It estimated that at current oil prices of around $90, the cost of shipping liquid bulk such as liquefied natural gas could drop roughly 33% compared with the Cape of Good Hope routewhile dry bulk goods such as cereals would cost about 8% less.

The container ship Istanbul Bridge being unloaded by large blue and red cranes at the port of Gdansk.
A containership operated by Sea Legend in the port of Gdansk, Poland. jackowski/epa/Shutterstock

The route is only passable in the summer and fall. Sea Legend plans eight voyages between August and late October, before conditions get too icy.

“It’s not the Suez Canal but it’s a significant number for the Arctic. It shows there is potential,” said Malte Humpert, founder of the U.S.-based Arctic Institute and author of a book on Chinese shipping in the Arctic.

Even in summer, ships have to navigate around dangerous ice floes and deal with rapidly changing weather. By the end of the shipping season in October, the sky is dark most of the time.

A Russian tanker suffered serious damage to its hull while sailing along the Arctic route despite being assisted by an icebreaker, its insurer, AlfaStrakhovanie, said Thursday, adding that it paid out roughly $650,000.

Coface estimates 3.5% of trade among East Asia, Europe and North America will be able to use Arctic routes within the next five years, representing $64 billion in goods.

Last summer, a record 23 cargo ships transited the Northern Sea Route, which hugs Russia’s north coast. That is tiny compared with the Suez Canal, where more than 30 ships transited daily.

Western companies that want to follow in Sea Legend’s path have to navigate treacherous politics. Russia claims sovereignty over the entire Northern Sea Route and permits for ship traffic are issued by its state-controlled nuclear operator, Rosatom.

Aerial view of a port with many cargo ships, red cranes, and rows of stacked shipping containers.
The Dubai Tower’s route will begin in the Chinese port of Ningbo. Huang Zongzhi/ZUMA Press

“Western companies are in a tricky position,” said Humpert of the Arctic Institute. “At what point do they jump back in the water? When does it become economically necessary, and how do you weigh that against environmental risks and the political dimension?”

An alternative Arctic route, the Northwest Passage that connects the Atlantic and Pacific oceans via the Canadian Arctic, is less passable because it is dominated by narrow waterways where ice gets bunched up. The highest number of cargo ships completing the passage in a year was 13, in 2023.

China has declared itself a near-Arctic state despite not having access to Arctic waters. It depends on Russia’s goodwill to use the Northern Sea Route.

“Beijing is concerned that if they don’t establish a significant strategic presence in the Arctic now, it’s going to be more difficult in the future,” said Marc Lanteigne, expert in polar geopolitics at the Arctic University of Norway in Tromsø. However, he said, “China needs to be careful not to give the impression that they are trying to challenge the strategic order in the Arctic.”

Sea Legend didn’t respond to requests for comment.

Any polar venture contributes to China’s quest to master Arctic travel. The country also has three icebreakers and a support vessel currently on a monthslong scientific expedition north of Greenland. Scientific and commercial voyages can yield data about natural resources awaiting below melting ice caps and information for positioning nuclear-armed submarines.

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