Do You Need An Interior Designer Or A Marriage Counsellor?
Interior designers often employ therapy-like techniques to find stylish compromises for clients with warring aesthetics.
Interior designers often employ therapy-like techniques to find stylish compromises for clients with warring aesthetics.
My husband James and I are decorating our new vacation house in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and have taken on so much more than we can chew that we’re choking…mostly because I’ve been a rude co-designer. Years of writing about decorating have turned me into the Joan Rivers of home décor, minus the comedy.
He wants wood, leather and black metal. If I don’t get white upholstery, one too many throw pillows and patterns as dainty as the pinnules on a maidenhair fern, I will perish.
When James texts me an image of a chair or light to consider, it’s often more masculine than I can bear—and I’ll text too brusquely why I hate it. My behaviour is not OK, especially because my spouse is one of the kindest souls on earth.
I’m not the only person whose style clashes with her partner’s as painfully as pink paisley and tartan plaid. “Disagreements between couples on residential projects is the leading reason our studio decided three years ago to pursue more hospitality and commercial projects,” said Dallas, Texas, designer Jean Liu. “Maybe we were unlucky, but we realized how unequipped we are to handle marital strife.”
It wouldn’t hurt an interior designer to bone up on strategies for couples-conflict resolution. In a 2021 survey by Houzz, a website and online community dedicated to home improvement and decorating, 11% of the couples among the 75,470 U.S. respondents declared they found it challenging to work with their spouse on a renovation. In the Houzz U.K. 2022 Renovations and Relationships Survey, 16% of 1,250 respondents said they considered separating during the renovation process.
When it comes to cohabitated spaces, the stakes are high, in part because your home is “an expression of who you are and your personality,” said Boston family therapist Terrence Real, author of “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship” (Goop Press, 2022).
Los Angeles designer Kevin Klein has found that when working with couples, disagreements are as unavoidable as shipping delays. Consequently, during initial consultations, Mr. Klein asks clients how they’ll handle any impasse that might arise. “They always look at me cross-eyed, like ‘What are you talking about?’ But that moment inevitably comes six months down the line, when we’re doing relationship counselling rather than designing.”
Real-estate developers Ilana and David Duel credit Mr. Klein for steering them through their own renovation harmoniously. “It’s really hard between husband and wife to make decisions,” said Ms. Duel. “You can spend hours and hours on just the tile.” She longed for an all-white house with light wood floors, while Mr. Duel and Mr. Klein sought to maintain the 1930s abode’s Spanish character.
Today, such unlikely roommates as a boxy, white marble coffee table—a nod to her taste—and drippy Murano crystal sconces—a reflection of Mr. Duel’s—are shacked up happily in the couple’s living room. “If you decide to hire a designer, know that they’re much better at designing than you are,” she said.
In case you don’t have the coin to take on a personal interiors pro, video design consultations offered by websites like the Expert, billed by the hour, can yield affordable tiebreaker advice. Decorist’s new service, for example, lets you book a 30-minute Zoom session with a pro for $59.
Whether hiring an expert or going it alone, Mr. Klein recommends you set up “office hours,” as he puts it. “When you come home after a long day, you don’t want to address these design decisions,” he said. “It’s not sexy; it doesn’t feel right.” Dedicating specific chunks of time to the process, periods when you’re both well-rested, is a better way to hear the other person’s side, he says, “than while you’re sitting in bed together watching TV.”
Another sanity-saving strategy: Choose décor that’s easily swappable. When Los Angeles designer Rydhima Brar’s client sought a swashbuckling 1970s-inspired graphic wallpaper, her other half didn’t find it shagadelic. The peace offering? Removable wallpaper they could switch out if he still balked down the line. Ultimately, he was into it.
Pictures, in these situations, are worth a thousand exhausting negotiations. “Most people don’t have the vocabulary to define their style,” said New York City designer Rozit Arditi. Gray Walker, a designer in Charlotte, N.C., often asks client couples to “pin” images of things they like on Pinterest boards, an easy ask, and then seek compromise with the help of those visual aids. “I have found that hearing both parties and giving each person a bit of what they want is the way to go without conflict,” she said.
For the living room of her clients’ 1930s Georgian revival home in Charlotte, Ms. Walker navigated warring aesthetics by acknowledging each—installing a Chinese screen and timeworn Oushak rug for him, an antique obsessive, and a bergère upholstered in faux fur as well as a minimal brick-red-velvet sofa for her, a fan of all things modern.
Seeking middle ground can lead to unexpected dynamism. When he first met his husband, Atlanta designer Vern Yip gravitated toward clean lines and Asian antiques. But his husband “brought a lot of European antiques into the picture that I never wanted and always felt kind of claustrophobic around,” Mr. Yip said. The happy medium they found was far from middle-of-the-road. “He had this dining table that had a ton of carvings. It was really well made but very old European. And we paired it with these Brno chairs—black leather and chrome—and it just sang, you know? They gave each other space.”
Pulling a common nostalgic thread from a pair of clients’ pasts helped PJCArchitecture find a design detente for the couple’s lakeside second home in Indian Lake, N.Y. Rob Maher, a retired Metropolitan Opera chorus member, asked for something resembling a Japanese tea house, while his wife, Deborah Allton-Maher, a retired Metropolitan Opera dancer and attorney, longed for the lusciously loggy cabin in the 1981 film “On Golden Pond.” After learning that the couple had toured Japan several times, the New York City architects found consensus in a shared memory of shou sugi ban (charred wood), a common feature of the country’s temples. The bridging fix: The architects sided a modern Adirondack pitched-roof house with the material. “We loved it,” said Ms. Allton-Maher.
Therapist Mr. Real’s bottom line: “You can bully your way and get what you want in the short run. But you’ll breathe in that solution in the long run, in your partner’s resentment,” he said. “If you frame it as a power struggle in which one of you wins and the other one loses, you both lose.”
I didn’t want my husband and I both to lose, so I (mostly) quit being a tyrant. I relented on two of James’s desires, a pair of leather-and-walnut chairs and channel-tufted leather bar stools. And you know what? They look great next to my white bouclé sofa and the Deco-ish barrel armchairs I chose in a cinnamon velvet—and I think they’re all destined to live happily ever after.
Early indications from several big regional real-estate boards suggest March was overall another down month.
Art can transform more than just walls—it shapes mood, evokes memory, and elevates the everyday. Discover how thoughtfully curated interiors can become living expressions of personal meaning and refined luxury, from sculptural furniture to bespoke murals.
Art can transform more than just walls—it shapes mood, evokes memory, and elevates the everyday. Discover how thoughtfully curated interiors can become living expressions of personal meaning and refined luxury, from sculptural furniture to bespoke murals.
Art can transform more than just walls—it shapes mood, evokes memory, and elevates the everyday. Discover how thoughtfully curated interiors can become living expressions of personal meaning and refined luxury, from sculptural furniture to bespoke murals.
Imagine a hushed hospital corridor, its sterile walls awash in the glow of flickering fluorescent lights. In that unexpected moment, a solitary Monet painting emerged—a luminous tableau of delicate lilies dancing in quiet defiance.
As the clinical austerity yielded to the graceful presence of art, this single work transformed into a vessel of solace and hope amid overwhelming uncertainty.
That moment continues to resonate with me—a vivid reminder that art transcends mere aesthetics to become a profound catalyst for emotional healing and inspiration. It is this transformative experience that fuels my passion as a biophilic interior designer.
I create environments where every element, from bespoke murals to sculptural installations, harnesses art’s power to elevate the human spirit, spark creativity, and enrich lives. Let us journey together into the world of luxurious interiors that define modern elegance.
At its core, art is a daily ritual that renews both mind and spirit. Scientific research consistently confirms that nature-inspired art reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and kindles creativity.
The simple act of beholding a tranquil landscape or a subtle floral motif transforms your space into a private retreat, offering solace amidst a hectic world.
In my practice, I meticulously select artworks chosen not only for their aesthetic appeal but also for their potent, therapeutic benefits.
Each piece serves as daily inspiration—a quiet invitation to experience calm and well-being. For example, our Hilton project demonstrates how hospitality resorts integrate nature-inspired art not only for its visual impact but also as a medium of healing; here, a collaboration with a local artist produced a masterful installation that functions both as a statement piece and a source of well-being.
Luxury design is profoundly personal. Bespoke art transcends mass-produced décor by capturing your unique story—whether through a custom mural reminiscent of your favourite botanical garden or silk wallpapers that evoke the allure of exotic landscapes.
Each personalised creation turns your walls into a living narrative of cherished memories and distinctive taste. Consider how a thoughtfully designed space can reflect your individuality and elevate your living experience.
Art is not confined to two dimensions. Three-dimensional sculptural works bring vitality to interiors by adding depth, texture, and tactile allure.
Picture a gracefully sculpted piece—a marble table echoing the gentle rhythm of ocean waves or a repurposed bronze branch serving as an elegant room divider.
Such statement sculptures command attention while seamlessly integrating form with function and providing a natural conversation starter in any refined space.
A truly sophisticated home elegantly merges art with architecture. Imagine a residence where bespoke staircases curve with elegance, where hand-carved wooden doors evoke the intricate beauty of nature, and where expansive windows frame breathtaking vistas.
In these spaces, every architectural detail contributes to a cohesive canvas of artistic expression. As you envision your own home, consider how your surroundings can be thoughtfully designed to reflect both beauty and purpose.
In luxury interiors, even the functional becomes exceptional through artful design. Consider a one-of-a-kind, hand-carved pink marble swivel chair—a masterpiece where practicality meets refined craftsmanship.
More than just a piece of furniture, this chair sparks conversation and serves as an emblem of creative innovation and exclusivity.
Let this be a symbol of how every element in your home might reflect your dedication to exquisite artistry.
In an age defined by rapid technological advancement, digital art installations offer a contemporary twist on traditional forms.
High-resolution displays now present dynamic landscapes—a cascade of waterfalls, the quiet majesty of a forest, or a serene digital ocean vista—that adapt and evolve with your environment.
This modern element seamlessly aligns cutting-edge technology with timeless aesthetics, ensuring your space remains as innovative as it is elegant.
Luxury is often revealed in the details: the textures, colours, and fabrics that together create a haven of understated splendour.
Bespoke silk cushions with intricate botanical embroidery, sumptuous velvet throws that evoke tropical charm, and bedding that mirrors the ethereal beauty of cloudscapes all contribute to an atmosphere of refined elegance and comfort.
Every tactile detail is chosen to evoke warmth and stand as a testament to your taste for excellence.
In the realm of luxury, tradition and modernity exist in perfect harmony. Integrating timeless antiques—such as a rare Vladimir Kagan couch or a coveted Hans Wegner chair—with contemporary design creates a dialogue that honours both heritage and innovation.
These storied pieces carry with them a legacy of masterful craftsmanship, adding layers of significance and depth to your living environment. They remind us that true elegance is built upon a foundation of enduring quality.
Ultimately, art is the language through which you express your unique legacy.
Every carefully chosen piece reflects a part of your personal journey, turning your living space into a narrative as emotionally resonant as it is visually stunning.
It imbues your environment with memories, aspirations, and the essence of who you are—a living masterpiece that evolves with time.
Reflect on how these elements might not only beautify your home but also stand as timeless expressions of your personal story.
Now is the moment to immerse yourself fully in the joy of art. Elevate your surroundings and transform your residence into your greatest masterpiece.
Your heart, your legacy, and your space deserve nothing less than extraordinary artistry.
Ozge Fettahlioglu is the founder of Cocoplum | Biophilic Design Studio and Boxareno | Custom Modular Constructions. A wellness and biophilic design leader, she creates bespoke spaces that inspire, heal, and elevate daily living. Ozge is also a board member of Biophilic Cities Australia.
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