When ‘Drop It’ Is the Best New Year’s Resolution

Millions of people spend the final days of December coming up with ambitious tasks for the new year. In 2023, resolve to take something off your plate instead.

Physical and mental health—including eating habits, self-care, exercise and weight loss—are among the most common focuses for resolutions. But nearly two-thirds of people who set New Year’s resolutions abandon them within the first month, according to research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

Part of the problem is that designating vague goals often sets us up for failure, physical- and mental-health professionals say. Consciously removing some of them from your mental to-do list can help alleviate stress and improve focus, says social psychologist Jessica Ayers.

“By taking off one of those big, lofty goals, you’re giving yourself the freedom to actually pursue the goals that are most important to you,” says Dr. Ayers, who is based in Boise, Idaho.

Here are four anti resolutions that will help you enter 2023.

Stop Worrying About Being Night Owl

If you are one of the many people whose bedtimes shifted later during the pandemic, you might be resolving to go to bed earlier. Getting more sleep is a worthy goal, but being a night owl isn’t necessarily the problem, according to sleep researchers.

People have individual chronotypes, or natural tendencies for waking early or sleeping in. When it comes to sleep health, quality, quantity and consistency are the most important metrics, sleep experts say.

If you go to bed at midnight but get between seven and nine hours of good-quality sleep, there is probably no need to worry about moving your bedtime up, says Shelby Harris, a Westchester, N.Y.-based clinical psychologist specialising in behavioural sleep medicine.

Dr. Harris says she has noticed a stigma around being a night owl, compared with morning larks, who are often viewed as more productive and in sync with the nine-to-five schedule. She tells patients they should only embark on the often difficult work of shifting their circadian rhythms, which she says can cause anxiety and insomnia in the early stages, if they are suffering from sleep deprivation.

Stop Weighing Yourself

Many people resolve to lose weight in the new year only to end up obsessing over the number on the scale or give up altogether, doctors and dietitians say.

For those whose doctors have urged them to monitor their weight at home, including people working to prevent or manage chronic conditions, patients undergoing cancer treatments and certain people who are underweight, it is a good idea to keep the scale handy, according to health experts.

Otherwise, consider ditching the scale altogether, says Gregory Dodell, an endocrinologist in New York City who sees many patients for weight-related matters. Self-weighing has been associated with weight loss, but also lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of stress, according to a meta-analysis of 23 studies published in the journal Health Psychology Review in 2016.

“Stepping on a scale without any other health markers is not very impactful,” says Dr. Dodell.

He recommends giving priority to healthy behaviours, such as incorporating more movement into your day and eating enough protein, fruits and vegetables, which can improve health indicators even if they don’t affect weight. Patients who like tracking health metrics might want to focus on other quantifiable characteristics such as blood pressure and blood-sugar levels, he says.

Caroline Susie, a registered dietitian in Dallas, says she has focused on celebrating what she calls non-scale victories with clients, which can include sleeping better, having regular bowel movements, or feeling more energetic.

Stop Worrying That You Don’t Have Enough Friends

Many resolution-setters aim to meet new people and make new friends, but when it comes to friendships, psychologists say, quality matters more than quantity.

We have a limited amount of time and energy to invest in our relationships, says Dr. Ayers, the social psychologist. Keeping a smaller circle of friends allows us to invest more time into meaningful conversations with them, she says.

“Think of deepening instead of broadening,” says psychologist Marisa G. Franco.

As we age and become aware that the end of our lives is drawing closer, we tend to care less about having more friends, a phenomenon known in the field of social science as socio-emotional selectivity. To start forging closer bonds, increase the amount of time you spend with your close friends. That can mean scheduled dates, such as weekly dinners or book clubs, but should also include last-minute hangouts, says Dr. Franco.

“It’s a sign of intimacy when we believe people won’t reject us,” she says.

In a 2020 study of women published in Adultspan Journal, those who visited with close friends a couple of times a week felt younger and had significantly higher levels of life satisfaction than those who visited with theirs a couple of times a year or not at all.

Stop Wasting Money on Fitness

Planning to join a pricey health club or fitness program this year? Don’t rely on the price tag to motivate you.

“Meaningful, lasting, positive change doesn’t come from shame, blame and guilt,” says Darlene Marshall, a personal trainer and wellness coach in Valley Falls, N.Y.

Before you hit “subscribe” on a membership you might not make the most of, ask yourself what you are hoping to get out of it. For many, the answer goes beyond losing weight or looking good in their jeans, says Ms. Marshall. Getting outside, even for short periods, can provide mental and physical health benefits.

“If the question is, ‘Which is going to help with my well-being: the walk in the park or 20 minutes on the StairMaster?’ The walk in the park is going to have a better outcome,” she says.

About 20 minutes of daily moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity, which could include a brisk walk or pushing a lawn mower, provides the same health benefits as running for 60 to 75 minutes a week, according to guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American College of Sports Medicine.

Outdoor activities, such as group walks, hiking or biking, became more popular during the pandemic, according to the ACSM’s 2023 fitness trends report.

“Outdoor activity doesn’t take any technology and they don’t have to rely on an instructor instructing them from who knows where,” says Dr. Walt Thompson, former president of the ACSM and author of the report.

In our 20s, my new husband and I took a year off from our fledgling careers to travel in Southeast Asia. Equipped with paper maps, we began in China and improvised each day’s “itinerary” on the go. A gap year for grown-ups, I called it, although I scarcely qualified as one.

Nearly 40 years later, we are new retirees with the same wanderlust. We wondered: Could we recapture the thrill of winging it, enduring rough roads and cheap hotels?

We could and did, but for 2½ months instead of 12. We mapped out a route that would take us up Africa’s east coast and then—who knows where? Here’s how we rolled and five important lessons we learned on a 6,000-mile trip.

Kenya: Live large by day

Our first stop was the tiny, car-free island of Lamu, well-known for its high-profile visitors, from Kate Moss to the Obamas. This low-key getaway offered white-sand beaches, dhows — boats you can rent for day cruises and snorkelling — and lots of donkeys, the main mode of transport.

We considered the beachside Peponi Hotel in Shela, a hot spot since the 1960s (Mick Jagger bunked there). But room rates start at $250, far above our per-night budget of $70 or less. When contemplating almost 100 nights of travel, price matters.

So we chose a villa in the dunes called Amani Lamu, $61 per night for an en suite room with a private terrace and shared plunge pool.

We still had a cool Peponi moment come sunset: On the hotel’s whitewashed veranda, we sipped Pepotinis and plotted our next day’s interlude at the Majlis, Lamu’s fanciest resort (from $580).
With a $20 day pass, we could lounge around its pools and beach bars like proper resort habitués.

Lesson learned: Live like billionaires by day and frugal backpackers by night.
Must-go: Across the bay on Manda Island, bunk a night in a thatched-roof bungalow on stilts at Nyla’s Guest House and Kitchen (from $48 with breakfast).
After a dinner of doro wat, a spicy Ethiopian chicken stew and rice, the sound of waves will lull you asleep.

Egypt: Ask. Politely.

From Lamu, we flew to Aswan in Egypt. Our “plan”: Cruise down the Nile to Luxor, then take a train to Cairo, and venture to Giza’s pyramids.

Turns out it’s the kind of thing one really should book in advance. But at our Aswan hostel, the proprietor, who treated us like guests deserving white-glove service, secured a felucca, a vessel manned by a navigator and captain-cum-cook. Since we’d booked fewer than 24 hours in advance and there were no other takers, we were its sole passengers for the three-day trip.

One day, we stopped to tour ancient temples and visit a bustling camel fair, but otherwise, we remained on board watching the sunbaked desert slide by. We slept on futons on the deck under the stars. The cost: about $100 per night per person, including three meals.

Lesson learned: Ask for help. We found Egyptians kind and unfazed by our haplessness, especially when we greeted them respectfully with assalamu alaikum (“Peace to you”).
Must-go: For buys from carpets to kebabs, don’t miss Cairo’s massive Khan el-Khalili bazaar, in business since 1382. We loved the babouche, cute leather slippers, but resisted as our packs were full.

Turkey: Heed weather reports

Next stop Tunisia, via a cheap flight on EgyptAir. We loved Tunisia, but left after six days because the weather got chilly.

Fair enough, it was January. We hopped continents by plane and landed in Istanbul, where it snowed. Fortunately, two of Istanbul’s main pleasures involve hot water. We indulged in daily hammams, or Turkish baths, ranging from $30 to $60 for services that included, variously, a massage, a scrub-down and a soak.

Beneath soaring ceilings at the temple-like Kılıç Ali Paşa Halamı, brisk workers sternly wielded linen sacks to dowse my body in a cloud of hot foam.
In between visits to Ottoman-era mosques and the city’s spice markets, we staved off the chill by drinking fruity pomegranate tea and sampling Turkish delight and baklava at tea salons.

A favourite salon: Sekerci Cafer Erol in Kadıköy, a ferry-ride away on the “Asian” side of Istanbul, where the city adjoins Asia.

Lesson learned: Pay attention to the weather gods. We foolishly took the concept of travelling off-season too far.
Must-go: Don’t miss the Istanbul Modern, the Renzo Piano-designed art museum in the historic Beyoğlu district.

Cambodia: Chill out

After a long flight from Istanbul, we spent two weeks in Laos and then hopped another plane to Cambodia, specifically Koh Rong Sanloem, another car-free island.

Like vagabonds, we lolled by the warm, super-blue water of Sunset Beach, steps from our bungalow at Sleeping Trees (from $54 per night).
A caveat: You have to sweat to get to this island paradise. We took a bus, a ferry and then hiked for 40 minutes up and down a steep hill and through a jungle. You’ll find only a handful of “resorts”—simple bungalow complexes like ours. There’s nothing much to do. I’ll be back.

Lesson learned: Until our week in Cambodia, we’d been travelling too much and too fast, prioritising exploration over relaxation. This island taught us the pleasures of stasis.
Must-go: Spend one day in Cambodia’s capital city, Phnom Penh, to delve into its sobering history. Tour the Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre, site of a Killing Field, where nearly 9,000 Cambodians died.

Thailand: Be a frugal hedonist

We spent our last two weeks on the island of Ko Samui, where season three of “The White Lotus” was shot.

We went there for its astounding beauty, not the luxury resort experience that comes with too many boisterous lads on vacation, snake farms and traffic jams in town.

Truth be told, we flouted our budget rules to book an Airbnb with a pool (from $300) in the hills of Lipa Noi on the island’s quiet side. We joined the nearby Gravity Movement Gym to work out, but cooked our own meals to keep our final tabulation of expenses within reach.

Lesson learned: Pinching pennies feels restrictive, no matter how lush the surroundings. And it leads to bickering, as partners tally up who squandered how much on what.
With the end in sight, we splurged on the villa and even bought souvenirs, knowing we’d lug them for days, not weeks.
Must-go: Take the 30-minute ferry to sister island Ko Pha Ngan for its peace, love and yoga vibe and, once a month, full-moon parties.
Via Airbnb, we bunked at a Thai house called Baan Nuit, run by the Dear Phangan restaurant proprietors.

We sampled steamed dumplings, white fish in a Thai basil sauce and spicy noodles for a mere $15 apiece.
Hey, indulge in that “White Lotus” moment if you dare!