Tech Addiction or Habit? 5 Ways To Assess Your Social-Media Use

We all feel like we’re addicted to our phones at times, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or chiming in on the latest Twitter scandal—even when we suspect we shouldn’t. How we address our behaviour depends on whether we truly have an addiction, or an unhealthy habit we can kick with a few adjustments.

People throw around the word addiction loosely, but few people are truly dependent on social media, according to mental-health experts. Addiction itself is a spectrum disorder that can range from mild to severe, and treatment can require therapy and a lengthy break.

Even if we’re not addicted, it’s clear that we’re all using social media a lot. A Pew Research Center study last year found that 70% of Facebook users visit the site every day, and that almost half of those daily users access it several times a day.

Here are five general signs that a bad habit might be developing into something more serious—plus tips on how to slow your scroll.

You use social media compulsively.

It’s hard to leave our phones behind when we go anywhere anymore because of the pressure to always be reachable by our bosses, our partners, our kids. When we carry our phones around with us like an extra appendage, it’s hard not to fill free moments by checking social media during an elevator ride, a trip to the bathroom or a stroll in the park.

So what constitutes compulsive use? A 2019 paper in the journal Neuropsychology Review defined compulsive behaviour as the feeling we have to do something repeatedly, even when we know we really don’t have to.

When the compulsion to scroll overrides our better judgment, causing us to do dangerous things such as checking notifications while driving or crossing the road, that’s a reason to pay attention. (On recent mornings, I’ve seen a woman pushing her baby stroller along a busy street in my neighbourhood while staring at her phone.)

Habits aren’t easy to kick because they tend to be done on autopilot, said Phil Reed, chair of the psychology department at Swansea University in Wales, who has been studying the root causes of unhealthy social-media use. “The way to treat habits is to bring them into consciousness and make yourself aware of what you’re doing,” he said.

Tips: Try logging how often you check your feeds in a day, including those brief glances during spare moments. Turn off app notifications, set a blanket Do Not Disturb, or customize Focus settings on Apple devices to automatically turn on during work hours or when you’re driving.

Next, fill the time you normally spend on social media with other activities.

“If you don’t increase other things as you reduce social media, almost any other attempt to reduce it won’t work,” said Cal Newport, an associate professor of computer science at Georgetown University and author of “Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World.”

Your social-media use is getting in the way of life.

Anna Lembke, a professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, relies on this simple definition of addiction: “The continued compulsive use of a substance or behaviour despite harm to self and/or others.”

Scrolling through interior-design photos on Instagram before bed (um, totally speaking for a friend here) likely won’t hurt you, as long as you’re not delaying sleep too much.

If your social-media use is hurting your relationships, your work, your sleep or other aspects of your health—but you scroll anyway because you feel you can’t stop—it’s time to take action.

Tips: Dr. Lembke recommends that people who want to kick a habit do what she calls a “24-hour dopamine fast” by not touching any screen-related devices for a day.

“Prepare for the fast by letting people know you won’t be reachable,” said Dr. Lembke, who wrote “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.” It’s also better to do the fast with friends or family, she said.

People should pay close attention to how they’re feeling during the fast, Dr. Lembke said, and note symptoms such as anxiousness, irritability and intrusive thoughts about getting back to their feeds.

“Hopefully by the end of that day, people will have experienced a lessening of those symptoms and discover that they’re actually feeling better,” she said.

For people who suspect they have a full-blown tech addiction, she recommends a 30-day screen fast. She said she realizes how daunting that sounds, but it takes about a month of abstaining from addictive behaviours and substances for the reward pathways in the brain to reset.

You need more social media to feel satisfied.

As with any type of substance or behaviour dependence, social-media overuse can lead to increased tolerance to its pleasurable effects, which requires you to seek out more to feel good, Dr. Reed said.

If you’re not sure whether you’ve been ramping up your time on social media, track your app usage over time by looking at the screen-time settings on your phone.

Tips: Dr. Lembke suggests restricting phone use to certain hours of the day and setting time limits on the apps that suck you in the most.

It can help to write down what you plan to do on your phone before you use it, as a way of keeping yourself honest, she said. “If you do want to use it in an escapist, mind-numbing way, limit the amount of time you’ll do that, and schedule it in.” (See, you can take that nightly Instagram break you need!)

You’ve convinced yourself that you have an audience you need to serve.

This doesn’t apply to influencers who make a living posting on social media—which is not to say their use can’t be problematic. It’s intended for the teens and parents alike who have told me they feel pressure to post frequently.

Tips: Dr. Newport suggests you conduct an experiment and stop posting for a while without telling anyone, and see if anyone remarks on your absence. “People often find that no one notices,” he said.

You also could share directly with one person or a small group through traditional messaging, or new photo-sharing apps popular with Gen Z.

You suffer from withdrawal symptoms when you’re not on social media.

If you experience anxiety, irritability, insomnia, depression and strong cravings for social media when you’re not using it, that’s an indication of addiction.

Tips: Dr. Newport suggests using a decluttering approach to social media, much like getting rid of old clothes in your closet to make room for new ones. First, he said, delete all social-media apps from your phone. Take two weeks to a month to clear your head.

Then, slowly and intentionally, add back apps that serve a specific purpose, and develop rules around using them. For example, if Facebook was a way to communicate with your local running group, promise yourself that you will use Facebook solely for that purpose.

For people who feel they have a serious addiction, therapy may be needed to treat the underlying causes.

After you’ve followed the other tips above, schedule a recurring digital break—say one day a week—to reinforce your healthier new habits.

“If you’re not addicted to social media but struggling with overuse, my experience is that having a ‘digital sabbath’ is enough of a reminder to moderate our consumption,” Dr. Lembke said. “Even if it doesn’t make brain changes, it keeps it top of mind.”

Charities, distant relatives and even pets are benefiting from surprise inheritances. They can thank people without children.

Not having children is becoming more common, both among millennials and older people. A July Pew Research Center analysis found that 20% of U.S. adults age 50 and older hadn’t had children.

And many of these people don’t have wills. An AARP survey found half of childless people age 50-plus who live alone have a will, compared with 57% of others that age. Those without wills have less control over what happens to their money, which often ends up in the hands of people who don’t expect it.

This phenomenon of a surprise inheritance is common enough that it has a name: the laughing heir .

“All they do is get the money and go, ‘Ah ha ha, look at that,’ ” said Michael Ettinger , an estate lawyer in New York.

Kelley Gilpin McKeig, a 64-year-old healthcare-industry consultant in Ridgefield, Wash., received a phone call several years ago saying her cousin Nick Caldwell left behind money in a savings account. They hadn’t been in touch for 20 years.

“I thought it was a scam,” she said. “Nobody else in our family had heard that he had passed.”

She hunted down his death certificate and a news article and learned he had died about a year and a half before in a workplace accident.

Caldwell, who was in his 50s, had died without a will. His estate was split among cousins and an uncle. It took about two years for the money to be distributed because of the paperwork and court approval involved. Gilpin McKeig’s share was $2,300.

Afterward, she updated her will to make sure what she has doesn’t go to “just anybody down the line, or cousins I don’t care about.”

Who inherits

There are trillions of dollars at stake as baby boomers age.

Most people leave their money to spouses and children when they die. A 2021 analysis of Federal Reserve survey data found that 82% of heirs’ inheritances came from parents.

People with no children say they want to leave a greater share of their estates to charity, friends and extended family , according to research by two Yale law professors that surveyed 9,000 U.S. adults.

Rebecca Fornwalt, a 33-year-old writer, created a trust after landing a book deal. While her heirs are her parents, her backup heirs include her sister and about a half-dozen close friends. She set aside $15,000 for the care of each of her two dogs.

Susan Lassiter-Lyons , a financial coach in Florence, Ariz., said one childless client is leaving equal interests in her home to her two nephews. Another is leaving her home to a man she has been friends with for a long time.

“She broke his heart years ago and she feels guilted into leaving him property,” Lassiter-Lyons said.

A client who is a former escort estranged from her family is leaving her estate to two friends and to charity.

Lassiter-Lyons, who doesn’t have children, set up a trust for her two dogs should she and her wife die. The pet guardian, her wife’s sister, would live in their house while taking care of the dogs. When the dogs die, she inherits the house.

In the Yale study, people without descendants—children or grandchildren—intended to give 10% of their estates to charity, on average, more than triple the intended amount of those with descendants.

The Jewish Community Foundation of Los Angeles, which manages $1.3 billion of assets, a few years ago added an “heirless donors” section to its website that profiles donors and talks about building a legacy.

“Fifteen years ago, we never talked about child-free donors at all,” said Lew Groner , the foundation’s vice president for marketing.

In the absence of a will, heirs are determined by state law . Assets can wind up in the state’s hands. In New York, for example, $240 million in unclaimed funds over the past 10 years has arrived from estates of the deceased, not including real estate, according to the state comptroller’s office. In California, it is $54.3 million.

Hard questions

Financial advisers say a far bigger concern than who gets what is making sure there is enough money and support for a comfortable old age, because clients without children can’t call on them for help.

“I hope there is something left to leave,” said Stephanie Maxfield, a 43-year-old therapist in southern Colorado. “But if there isn’t, I think that’s OK, too.”

She said she would like to leave something to her partner’s nieces and nephews, as well as animal shelters and domestic-violence shelters. Her best friend is a beneficiary.

Choosing an estate executor and who would handle money and health decisions on your behalf can be difficult when you don’t have children, financial advisers say. Using a promised inheritance as a reward for taking care of you when you are older isn’t a good solution, said Jay Zigmont , an investment adviser focused on childless people.

“Unfortunately, it is relatively common to see family members who are in the will decide to opt for cheaper medical care (or similar decisions) in order to protect what they will be inheriting,” he said in an email.

Kirsten Tompkins, who is from Birmingham, U.K., and works in consulting, along with her husband divided their estate among their dozen nieces and nephews.

Choosing heirs was the easy part. What is hard is figuring out whom to ask for help as she and her husband get older, she said.

“A lot of us are at an age where we are playing that role for our parents,” the 50-year-old said, referring to tasks such as providing tech support and taking parents to medical appointments. “Who is going to do that for us?”