The ‘October Theory’ of Changing Your Life

October is traditionally the time to break out the cozy sweaters and consume as many pumpkin-spice drinks as possible. Instead, people are now using it to reset their goals.

Dubbed “October Theory,” these people are rethinking their approach to the last three months of the year. They’re using it as a time to set goals, pick up new habits and reflect—essentially taking on the role New Year’s plays.

October Theory is the latest “theory” social media has latched onto. Between the uneven job market, inflation, and the usual daily grind, people are looking for something they can control. Setting goals and improving their lives —whether it’s their health, finances or mindset—is something they are gravitating toward.

Sarah Stone, a 35-year-old Realtor in Kansas City, Mo., says October is a better time to reflect on the previous nine months and also home in on what she wants to achieve in the last few months of the year. This month, she’s decluttering her home and purging habits such as too much impulse shopping at TJ Maxx.

“It feels almost like the beginning of the year is in the wrong place on the calendar,” says Stone.

October can feel like an introspective time for people since the seasons are changing, a new academic school year has started and the current year is on its way out, says Laurie Kramer, a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University. The Jewish new year—Rosh Hashana—also takes place in September or October, giving millions a time to reflect.

“This is a great time, 90 days from the new year, from the holidays, to reassess, see where you are with things,” Kramer says.

Start now, win later

October Theory is catching on partly because it sets someone up for success by the time January rolls around, say fans of the trend. Instead of picking up a new habit in the dead of winter—at the same time everyone else is trying to make it to the gym, for instance—it has already been in place for three months.

Every new year, Allison Bucheleres, a 30-year-old lifestyle and fashion content creator in Miami, tries to set new goals. Often, she fails because she doesn’t have a routine in place to make it happen.

Most of her goals this month revolve around setting new daily routines, such as waking up at 7 a.m., journaling her thoughts and writing self-affirmations to reframe her thinking. Around the middle of the day, she’ll repeat her positive phrases—at times over 100 of them—and will sometimes write one on a sticky note to post on her bathroom mirror.

Bucheleres’s newest self-mantra: “I can control my work and my self belief, but not the timing.”

Simple behaviours that are easy to repeat could take as few as 30 times to become a habit. More complex ones, such as going to the gym, could take up to three months of daily practice, says Wendy Wood, professor emerita of psychology and business at the University of Southern California.

The best time to change behaviour is during a big life change, such as moving to a new house or starting a new job or relationship—regardless of whether it’s in January or October, she says.

“You have a sort of window of opportunity to make decisions about what you want to do without your old habits getting in the way,” Wood says.

Making the most of 2024

Others view October as a last chance to fulfil the goals and aspirations they set months ago.

That includes Mateo Pérez, who is in the final stretch for his weightlifting and running regimen. The 19-year-old sophomore, who is majoring in creative advertising at the University of Miami, is also working on an application to transfer to New York University for the fall 2025 semester. Pérez wants to finish the application by the end of this semester in December.

“Right now, it’s like a reflection of this whole year and how can we make the most of the last three months,” Pérez says.

Psychologists say being introspective—at any time of the year—helps people develop habits and routines. It is often the key to following through on your goals.

Two Octobers ago, Kelly Sites, a 38-year-old customer-support manager and content creator, decided to stop living overseas. By February, she had moved to Kansas City, Mo.

This year, she’s trying to set up a daily meditation and breathing practice, and eat more whole foods. In a TikTok post on Oct. 2, Sites encouraged people to go to their photo albums and type in October to see how much their lives have changed in the 10th month of the year.

“It’s this idea of hibernation, seasons changing,” Sites says. “There’s always seeds of my life that were planted in October that changed the rest of the year.”

The Sandwich Generation Is Stressed Out, Low on Money and Short on Time

At 34, Kait Giordano is juggling her job, a newborn and two parents with dementia.

Just over a month into motherhood, she tends to her infant son and her live-in parents in the morning and afternoon, some days with the help of a rotating cast of paid companions at their Tucker, Ga., home. In the evenings, her husband, Tamrin, takes over while she colours hair.

They had already delayed starting a family when Kait’s father moved in a few years ago. Her mother moved in this year. “We chose to take this on,” she says. “We didn’t want to wait any longer.”

More Americans shoulder a double load of caring for their children and at least one adult , often a parent. The “sandwich generation” has grown to at least 11 million in the U.S., according to one estimate, and shifts in demographics, costs and work are making it a longer and tougher slog.

People are having children later, and they are living longer , often with care-intensive conditions such as dementia. That means many are taking care of elderly parents when their own kids are still young and require more intensive parenting—and for longer stretches of their lives than previous generations of sandwiched caregivers.

As the oldest millennials start to hit middle age —and baby boomers near their 80s—the number of Americans caring for older and younger family makes up a significant part of the electorate. Vice President Kamala Harris invoked the sandwich generation when she recently proposed expanding Medicare benefits to cover home healthcare.

“There are so many people in our country who are right in the middle,” the Democratic presidential candidate said on ABC’s “The View” this month. “It’s just almost impossible to do it all, especially if they work.”

Responding to the Harris proposal, former President Donald Trump ’s campaign said he would give priority to home-care benefits by shifting resources to at-home senior care and provide tax credits to support unpaid family caregivers.

The growing burden on this sandwich generation weakens careers and quality of life, and has ramifications for society at large. It is a drag on monthly budgets and long-term financial health.

A 40-something contributing $1,500 a month over five years to support an aging parent stands to lose more than $1 million in retirement savings, according to an analysis by Steph Wagner , national director of women and wealth at Northern Trust Wealth Management.

“It’s become incredibly expensive to manage the longevity that we’ve created,” says Bradley Schurman , an author and demographic strategist, who says that the demands of caring for older generations could push more people in midlife to retreat from the workforce, particularly women. “That’s a massive risk for the U.S. economy.”

Career goals on hold

Not too long ago, the typical sandwich caregiver was a woman in her late 40s with teenage kids and maybe a part-time job. Now, according to a 2023 AARP report, the average age of these caregivers is 44, and a growing share are men. Nearly a third are millennials and Gen Z. They are in the critical early-to-middle stages of their careers and three-quarters of them work full or part time.

Diana Fuller, 49, says being the go-to person for her 83-year-old mother’s care for more than four years has been stressful, even with her mother now living in a nearby, $10,000-a month memory-care centre in Charlotte., N.C. (Long-term-care insurance covers 75%; the rest is paid out of her mother’s savings.)

She has put on the back burner career goals such as ramping up the leg warmer business she started with her sister. She has missed moments such as her 9-year-old son’s school holiday concert last year because of her mother’s frequent hospital stays.

Her husband picks up a lot of the child care duties when her mom is in the hospital. Still, she says, “it often feels like everything is about to implode.”

The financial pressures are also growing for the sandwich generation. According to a Care.com survey of 2,000 parents, 60% of U.S. families spent 20% or more of their annual household income on child care last year, up from 51% of families in 2021. Meanwhile, the median cost of a home health aide climbed 10% last year to $75,500, data from long-term-care insurer Genworth Financial show.

Caregivers often risk paying for such costs in their own old age, financial advisers say. More than half reported in a 2023 New York Life survey that they had made a sacrifice to their own financial security to provide care for their parents on top of their children.

Long-distance care

Many in the sandwich generation say they feel torn between the needs of their kids and parents. Liam Davitt , a public-relations professional, and his wife, Lisa Fels Davitt , recently moved from their Washington, D.C., condo to suburban New Jersey so that their 7-year-old son could be closer to cousins and go to a good public school. (They had previously paid for private school.)

That meant moving away from his 84-year-old mother in an independent living community. The long distance has made helping her even with little things more complicated, such as troubleshooting glitches with her iPhone. He recently enlisted a nearby fraternity brother to help her assemble a new walker.

An avid runner, he says he finds himself taking care of himself—avoiding potentially ankle-twisting mud runs and keeping up with his doctors’ appointments, for example—out of fear he won’t be able to care for his younger and older family.

“If all of a sudden I’m less mobile, then I’m more of a burden on my own family” says Davitt. He is planning to move his mother closer by.

The Giordanos, in Georgia, have made adjustments, too. With their newborn keeping them busy, they installed cameras and door chimes to help monitor Kait’s parents.

Her parents enjoy pushing their grandson in the stroller around the house while supervised, she says. When Tamrin comes home from work, he gives his in-laws dinner and medications while holding the baby.

The couple isn’t sure when they’ll have another child, which would require paying for more help.

“We may have to wait,” Kait said. “We’re very much living in the moment.”

The Market for $5 Million-Plus Homes Is Booming in New York’s Posh Hamptons

Deep-pocketed buyers were busy this summer in the Hamptons, as sales of luxury homes in the affluent New York vacation-home market soared, according to third-quarter reports released Thursday.

“Every price range experienced increases in the number of sales in the third quarter, but the transactions over $5 million soared,” Robert Nelson, executive managing director of Brown Harris Stevens of the Hamptons, wrote in the brokerage’s report.

There were 55 transactions above $5 million, up from 31 a year earlier, marking a 77% increase, according to Brown Harris Stevens data.

The 16 ultra-luxury home sales, defined as properties over $10 million, accounted for 4% of sales, but made up 19% of the total dollar volume last quarter.

More properties in the beach towns are joining the $5 million club every year

The median price of a luxury Hamptons home was $8.5 million in the third quarter, surging 38% from a year ago, according to a separate report from Douglas Elliman, which defines luxury as the top 10% of the market.

More properties in the beach towns are joining the $5 million club every year, according to Douglas Elliman, as this category has continued to double in market share.

The Hamptons has been surprisingly unaffected by this pre-election season that tends to temporarily dampen sales, said Philip O’Connell, executive managing director for Brown Harris Stevens in the Hamptons. Instead low rates have fuelled the market, enabling year-on-year sales to climb back up every quarter.

“A large segment of our buyer population comes from New York City. I think they see a bright future economically, which is driving their confidence in the market,” O’Connell said. “We have the expectation that the market will continue to be very active.”

Home Sales on Track for Worst Year Since 1995

Sales of existing homes in the U.S. are on track for the worst year since 1995— for the second year in a row.

Persistently high home prices and elevated mortgage rates are keeping potential home buyers on the sidelines. Sales of previously owned homes in the first nine months of the year were lower than the same period last year, the National Association of Realtors said Wednesday.

Existing-home sales in September fell 1% from the prior month to a seasonally adjusted annual rate of 3.84 million, NAR said, the lowest monthly rate since October 2010. Economists surveyed by The Wall Street Journal had estimated a monthly decrease of 0.5%.

September sales fell 3.5% from a year earlier.

After a sluggish 2023, economists and real-estate executives widely expected activity to pick up in 2024.

But mortgage rates have stayed higher throughout the year than some had forecast, including in recent weeks after the Federal Reserve’s interest-rate cut last month. That has kept home-buying affordability low .

Home prices have continued to rise, as inventory in many parts of the country is still below normal historical levels. Climbing home insurance costs and a coming election are also adding to buyers’ uncertainty.

“Home sales are stuck at low levels,” said Lawrence Yun , NAR’s chief economist. “Americans are really not moving.” Yun said he forecasts that existing-home sales for 2024 as a whole could match or be slightly below last year’s level.

Expectations that the Fed would cut rates this year caused mortgage rates to drop to 6.08% in September, a two-year low. But the move came too late in the year to lure buyers, real-estate agents say. Many families prefer to purchase in the spring and move houses between school years.

The reprieve in rates also didn’t last long. Mortgage rates have risen for three straight weeks to the highest level since August.

“That trickle up in rates, to right back where we were, just sucked the air out,” said Michael Read, owner of Bridgeway Mortgage & Real Estate Services in Morristown, N.J.

Mortgage rates tend to loosely follow the yield on the 10-year Treasury note, which has been above 4%. But the spread between mortgage rates and the 10-year has widened to above historical norms in recent years, which can push up borrowing costs.

Lenders often sell mortgages to investors. Those investors demand a bigger return, particularly when rate volatility is higher than normal, because mortgages are riskier than ultrasafe government bonds.

Uncertainty around the presidential election and “murkiness” around recent labor and inflation data haven’t helped, said Mike Fratantoni , chief economist at the Mortgage Bankers Association.

Mortgage applications have fallen for four straight weeks as rates have risen.

“It’s tough in this business,” said Alex Elezaj , chief strategy officer at United Wholesale Mortgage. “Once you think it’s going one way, it goes another.”

A drop in mortgage rates later this year or next would make home purchases more affordable, but that benefit could be offset if home prices continue to rise. In September, 42% of more than 1,000 people surveyed said they expect mortgage rates to fall in the next 12 months, but 39% said they expect home prices to rise over the same period, according to Fannie Mae .

The national median existing-home price in September was $404,500, a 3% increase from a year earlier, NAR said. While that is down from the recent high, it is the highest median home price for any September, Yun said. Prices aren’t adjusted for inflation.

Lucy and Graham Schroeder

Widespread frustration with the housing market has made affordability an important campaign topic . Both parties have offered proposals to bring down housing costs. Vice President Kamala Harris has rolled out plans for building more housing, for example, and offering help with down payments. Former President Donald Trump has proposed cutting regulations and allowing more building on federal land.

For the buyers who are able to jump into the market now, there is less competition and more room to negotiate. The typical home sold in September was on the market for 28 days, up from 21 days a year earlier, NAR said.

Lucy and Graham Schroeder tried buying a house in the suburbs of Madison, Wis., in 2023 and again this past spring, but they got outbid by other buyers. When they re-entered the market this summer, “it felt like something kind of shifted,” Graham Schroeder said. “Houses were kind of sitting a little bit.”

The couple bought a five-bedroom home in August for $585,000, about 5% below the listing price, and sold their smaller home for $330,000.

The number of homes for sale or under contract rose 23% in September from a year earlier, NAR said, but it remains below normal levels in many markets. Many homeowners who locked in low rates on their current mortgages a few years ago are staying put, because they are reluctant to take on a new loan at a higher rate.

At the current sales pace, there was a 4.3-month supply of homes on the market at the end of September. That is at the low end of what is considered a balanced market between buyers and sellers.

Kaitlin Skilken and Matt Adler competed against other buyers to buy a house this spring in Wheat Ridge, Colo.
David Schlichter

Kaitlin Skilken and Matt Adler experienced the cool-down in the market firsthand. The couple competed against other buyers to purchase a house this spring in Wheat Ridge, Colo. But when they listed their townhouse in a nearby city for sale in June, it sat for almost two months.

Other units in the community were also sitting on the market, and the homeowner association’s insurance policy didn’t comply with every lender’s requirements, making it more difficult for buyers to get a mortgage, Adler said. “‘You only need one buyer,’ is what I kept saying,” Skilken said.

The couple sold the townhouse in September for the $475,000 asking price, and they paid a $12,000 credit to the buyers for some home repairs and to help lower the buyers’ interest rate.

Home-buying activity typically slows during the holiday season. Some real-estate agents say they expect sidelined buyers to re-enter the market in early 2025.

“It’s not like all of a sudden people have stopped needing to buy houses,” said David Schlichter, a real-estate agent in Denver. “You can only defer for so long.”

News Corp , owner of the Journal, also operates Realtor.com under license from NAR.

A More Profitable Tesla Is Still a Pricey Ride

Elon Musk thinks of Tesla as an AI company. He’d be seriously bummed if it were valued like one.

Tesla’s third-quarter results gave the EV maker’s stock price a strong boost on Thursday, recovering the ground lost following the company’s disappointing Robotaxi event earlier this month. The reaction wasn’t entirely unwarranted: Tesla managed to surprise Wall Street by reversing the steady decline its automotive gross margins have suffered over the past two years. Strong growth in sales and gross profits in the company’s energy generation and storage segment also helped. Tesla’s total operating profit came in at $2.7 billion for the quarter—37% above Wall Street’s consensus forecast, according to FactSet.

Still, Tesla’s overall growth is far below normal, or at least what has long been the company’s version of normal. Total automotive revenue rising 2% year over year in the third quarter comes after two consecutive quarters of declines. That is also a fraction of the 45% growth Tesla’s core business averaged on a quarterly basis from 2020 through 2023. The world’s largest EV maker can’t escape the gravity of a global auto-sales slowdown .

And even the profit boost might not be built to last. “Sustaining these margins in Q4, however, will be challenging, given the current economic environment,” said Tesla Chief Financial Officer Vaibhav Taneja on the company’s conference call on Wednesday.

Analysts boosted their profit targets anyway. The consensus projection for Tesla’s per-share earnings over the next four quarters rose more than 5% following the company’s report. But even that doesn’t cover Tesla’s chunky valuation; Thursday’s jump of nearly 22% puts the stock price at around 83 times forward earnings. That is more than twice the multiple that megacap tech giants such as Apple , Microsoft and Amazon .com fetch. If Tesla were valued on par with Nvidia , whose chips Tesla is snapping up to power its ambitions in AI, autonomous driving and robotics, the stock price—and a good chunk of Musk’s net worth—would be be half its current level.

Hence, Tesla needs much, much more to go right than just a recovery in the global EV market. But its biggest ambitions are distant and by no means slam dunks. Musk reiterated his plan to have Robotaxis begin production in 2026 . The ultimate fate of that business, though, lies in the company’s ability to clear the necessary regulatory hurdles for self-driving cars in states like California—not to mention catching up to rivals such as Waymo that are already on the road.

“While compute capacity growth is a positive indicator that will support accelerated learning cycles, we remain cautious on Tesla’s system performance vs. peers given lack of driver-out regulatory approvals and limited detail on miles between engagement,” wrote Colin Rusch of Oppenheimer on Thursday.

The humanoid robot called Optimus is even more of a long shot—not that Musk qualifies it as such. “So I think it has a good chance of being the most valuable product ever made,” Musk said on Wednesday’s call.

Even some of Tesla’s near-term targets look ambitious. After scrapping its Model 2 project earlier this year, the company reiterated a plan to launch a “more affordable” car in the first half of next year, though details on that vehicle remain sparse. And Musk projected vehicle-sales growth of 20% to 30% next year—a sharp jump from the 13% pace analysts were projecting, according to FactSet.

“We struggle to handicap the unit growth, given the uncertain timing of volume production, a limited sense of how different the offerings will be relative to the current Model 3 and Y, and true delivered price,” wrote Toni Sacconaghi of Bernstein.

Tesla has to get an awful lot of rubber to meet the road.

A Miami-Area Mansion With a Swarovski Chandelier for Every Room—Including the Walk-in Closet—Lists for $47 Million

A waterfront mansion in Coral Gables, Florida, with a Swarovski chandelier in almost every room is up for sale asking $47 million.

The Miami Mediterranean-style home spans over 12,000 square feet on Arvida Parkway in the gated Gables Estates community. It was built in 2004, but the home’s red-gabled roof, arched windows, and columned exterior recall the grand Coral Gables estates of the 1920s.

The home, located on a 0.8-acre parcel with 225 feet of water frontage, includes seven bedrooms, an oceanfront pool, a dock and a wine cellar that can hold 2,700 bottles. In the rear of the home, every room has French doors that open to bay-facing loggia with views of Key Biscayne in the distance.

“The beauty of this property is where it sits,” said listing agent Maria Marin-Sanchez, who relisted the house alongside Gabriela Dejar of One Sotheby’s International Realty last week. “You can see the bay from almost every room in the house except the wine cellar and one bedroom that faces the front.”

The home was initially listed in March at the same price with a different brokerage and was removed from the market in May.

Interior features include marble flooring, an updated kitchen, unique tray ceilings in every room and Swarovski-encrusted chandeliers, many of which are included in the sale. There are chandeliers in the foyer, the sitting room, both dining rooms, at least one of the bedrooms, two in the kitchen, plus a few unlikely places, such as the primary walk-in closet and wine cellar.

French doors open to bay-facing loggia with views of Key Biscayne in the distance.
Become Legendary

In addition to the yard, a covered outdoor space spans over 2,000 square feet and includes a grill and multiple lounge areas.

Gables Estates, a gated community of 192 waterfront homes on a series of canals, is the most exclusive community in one of the wealthiest neighbourhoods in the country. The typical home in Gables Estates sells for more than $20 million, making it the most expensive enclave in the country, according to a Bloomberg analysis of Zillow data.

The sellers purchased the home, located on a peninsular cul-de-sac, in 2012 for $10.215 million. A neighbouring home is currently on the market for $57 million, while billionaire Mike Fernandez, CEO of MBF Healthcare has amassed an 8-acre spread at the end of the peninsula for more than $36 million.

The couple are looking to sell because it’s a large house for two people, Marin-Sanchez said.

Property of the week: 1 Edzell Avenue, Toorak

Only four properties on coveted Edzell Avenue reach the Yarra River waterfront, so the arrival of this newly rebuilt residence at number 1 is a prize catch. So rare is the riverfront position, and the unique redesign by Andrew Parr of SJB Architects, that Marshall White Stonnington has listed the Toorak trophy home with a head-turning price guide of $50 million to $55 million.

The prestige property will be firmly placed in the top residential price bracket for Melbourne, but is still far from the giddy heights of the Victorian capitals benchmark of the $80 million spent by crypto king Ed Craven on his Toorak pile in 2022.

A complete transformation of an original 1920s house, this stately home still holds much of its old world glamour but also showcases the best of what money can buy a century later.

And that cash comes from an owner who knows a little about renovations — title records reveal the period property was bought in 2013 by Sarah Laidlaw, wife of former Mitre 10 boss Mark Laidlaw. After purchasing for $6.1 million, the Laidlawstransformation has injected a sophisticated aesthetic complementing its glamorous historic facade.

The river sits centre stage with an uninterrupted outlook from most rooms of the house, as well as the private jetty and rare Melbourne boathouse, capturing Burnley golf course and the city skyline.

Beyond a stately reception hall the living areas have been carefully remastered on a grand scale with a choice of entertaining spaces opening to the great outdoors.

The palatial dining and living rooms have fireplaces and agedbronze archways framing the river panorama and an expansive north westfacing stone terrace with pergola, barbecue kitchen, heaters and an outdoor fire. A media room and bar also spill out onto the landscaped gardens and for further entertaining the cantilevered heated infinity pool and spa seemingly hover above the Yarra.

In the state-of-the-art kitchen there are Pilbara marble benches, Gaggenau appliances, an integrated Sub-Zero fridge/freezer, wine fridge and a butlers pantry.

Up the curved marble staircase, or via the private lift, the accommodation level includes three bedrooms with ensuites and builtins plus a palatial primary suite complete with a gas fire, indulgent dressing room, deluxe marble bathroom and balcony overlooking the water and golfing green.

Down on the lower level, the property also features a gym, temperature-controlled wine cellar and executive home office with and independent street entry.

The rare piece de resistance for the riverside residence is the large river deck with a self-contained timberlined retreat with kitchenette and ensuite. Below that is a personal boatshed with a slipway, one of only a handful of privatelyowned jetties in Toorak.

Additional five star features include Control4 home automation, an alarm with CCTV and a video intercom, as well as hydronic heating, reverse-cycle air-conditioning, ducted vacuuming, full irrigation and a four-car lock up garage.

The Toorak residence is listed through an expressions of interest campaign closing at 1pm on November 11 via Marcus Chiminello, Nicole French and Alan Crawford of Marshall White Stonnington.

Australia set for super Saturday as auction numbers surge

This could be the weekend for buying a new home, as the number of properties going under the hammer set to surge around the country.

Data from CoreLogic has revealed 3,190 homes will be put to auction, the second highest levels this year. The highest number of properties put to market happened over the weekend leading up to Easter earlier this year, when 3,519 homes went under the hammer.

In signs that the Melbourne market is recovering, Australia’s second largest capital city is leading the charge, with 1,635 properties set to sell, a significant jump from the 1,098 properties offered the previous week. Sydney is next in line with 1,053 auctions, followed by Adelaide (207), Brisbane (197), Canberra (82) and Perth (15). It’s not such great news for would-be Tasmanian homeowners, with just one property available.

While vendor confidence appears to be rebounding, it’s not clear yet whether that will be reflected in the results. CoreLogic reported clearance rates were just 58.2 percent last week, the lowest recorded this year.

Source: CoreLogic CoreLogic, on average, collects 99% of auction results each week. Clearance rates are
calculated across properties that have been taken to auction over the past week.

For those considering holding off, it could be a case of ‘he or she who hesitates is lost’, with auction numbers set to experience a drop the following week ahead of the Melbourne Cup. Numbers are expected to fall to 2,100. They don’t call it ‘the race that stops a nation’ for nothing.

Young People Are Worried About Climate Change—and That’s Affecting Their Future Plans

More than four in five young Americans are worried about the impact of climate change on people and the planet, according to a survey of nearly 16,000 youths published in Lancet Planetary Health on Thursday. Most respondents do not believe governments are doing enough to reduce emissions, and a majority are looking to the corporate sector to make big changes.

As this group of 16- to 25-year-olds enters the workforce, there’s some indication those feelings will affect big life decisions such as where to live, whether to have kids and what to do for work: 64% of respondents said they “strongly agree,” “agree” or “somewhat agree” that climate change will impact their plans for the future.

“We certainly can see that climate is causing a lot of distress,” said Eric Lewandowski, associate professor at New York University’s medical school and lead researcher on the study. He said this is the first survey of its kind that focuses on the U.S., and the largest his team is aware of. A global survey conducted in 2021 found similar levels of climate-related stress among youths around the world.

The study also examined links between experience of severe weather events and attitudes about climate change. The researchers found that regardless of political affiliation, people who said they had experienced severe weather events were more likely to report feeling worried about climate change. Just under half of respondents said they were “very sure” climate change is happening, and a further 20% were “moderately sure.”

“Being anxious about climate disruption is a legitimate response to a real threat,” said Lise Van Susteren, associate professor at George Washington University and researcher on the study. A co-founder of the Climate Psychiatry Alliance, a group that helps therapists support patients with environment-related anxiety, Van Susteren said the survey results confirmed what she has seen on the ground, but the numbers were more severe than she expected.

It’s still not clear whether feelings about climate change transfer into broader labor force trends. While 67% of respondents said they may choose to work for employers who show commitments to sustainability and reducing their climate impact, recruiters who work on hiring entry-level candidates for oil and gas jobs say they haven’t heard much about climate concerns, said Keith Wolf, Houston-based managing partner of staffing firm Murray Resources.

Wolf informally polled recruiters on his team, and they said entry-level candidates who expressed hesitancy to work for fossil-fuel companies were outnumbered by those who wanted to break into the field. Some job candidates expressed concerns about other factors affecting the industry, like volatility.

In 2017, Ernst & Young published a survey that found college students were reluctant to pursue jobs in the oil-and-gas industry because they viewed it as “dirty and dangerous,” said Tim Haskell, managing director at the accounting firm.

Since then, he said, employers have updated their talking points. “I think companies saw that message as well as some of their own internal research and have really tried to shift the employee value proposition to say, hey, come here and change the industry from the inside out,” Haskell said.

The Lancet survey found that climate-related concerns about the future extend beyond career choice. More than three-quarters of respondents said the future is frightening, and more than half of respondents agreed that they were hesitant to have children.

Who Gets the TikTok in the Divorce? The Messy Fight Over Valuable Social Media Accounts

When Kat and Mike Stickler filed for divorce, their lawyers had a math problem.

Among the couple’s biggest assets was MikeAndKat, a channel on TikTok and YouTube in which they shared their lives with about four million followers. No one knew how to evenly split MikeAndKat between Mike and Kat.

“The judge was like, ‘what?’” Kat said last month during a podcast interview with Northwestern Mutual. “It’s a whole new terrain.”

Social media pays the bills for millions of Americans. But making a living online is more financially complicated than working a 9-to-5. Influencers need an audience to win advertising deals, and changing what they post risks turning followers away. Couples who showcase their love life online face an existential threat to the family business when they split.

For the lawyers charged with pinning a dollar value to the accounts to divide them fairly, it’s way harder than assessing a house or car. Fortunes can swing depending on which ex has the keys to the account. That was Kat’s argument in fighting for control of the TikTok channel.

“If the TikTok account was left to me, it would keep growing, but if it wasn’t, it would stop,” said Kat, 29, in the podcast interview.

She was right.

Kat got the TikTok, changed that handle to KatStickler and now has almost 10.5 million followers. She has another three million across Instagram, YouTube and Facebook. The channels, where Kat posts skits impersonating her mother and snippets of her everyday life, have earned her enough to buy a condo and become a small business investor.

Mike ended up with the YouTube account, which is now defunct. He now works in sales and declined to comment.

There are 27 million paid content creators in the U.S., and 44% of them say social media is their full-time job, consultant The Keller Advisory Group found.

The big bucks don’t come from views or followers. Brands pay influencers to recommend a product or service to their audience. U.S. advertisers paid content creators $26 billion in 2023, according to Statista.

Once divorce specialists tally up how much money the accounts are raking in, the couple can divide them, or one partner can take more and buy out the other.

But there’s one elusive factor in a digital asset’s value: the account’s potential to keep making money. Both partners have to make a case for their role in that potential. How many pranks did they think of? How many hours did they spend editing videos?

“There’s typically one person in the relationship who is passionate about social media, who’s driving the business,” says Cameron Ajdari, who runs a talent management group with his wife representing some of TikTok’s most followed couples.

It’s not always clear who that person is by the time divorce rolls around. Social media success often evolves quickly, and couples may not be prepared to track finances and labour.

Reza and Puja Khan say everything they’ve done to amass about five million followers on shared channels has been a team effort. They started posting about their wedding in 2020 and, within months, Puja was able to quit her office job. Now, they estimate social media brings in about half a million dollars a year.

Almost all of that goes into a joint bank account. It was a little overwhelming to see their incomes jump so fast, far above what their parents made, say Reza, 28, and Puja, 27. They hired a financial adviser earlier this year, but the idea of dividing their empire has never crossed Puja’s mind.

“This is the first time we’re actually thinking about it,” she says. “If I really went public with a hypothetical split, that could create its own momentum.”

The way influencers rebuild their brands after breaking up can make or break their careers.

If the person got popular by posting memes or makeup tutorials, they probably won’t take much of a financial hit from a divorce. But there could be more damage if a lot of the videos feature family time.

“One could take it over and they just rebrand, which is risky,” says Nina Shayan Depatie, a divorce attorney in Los Angeles who has worked with influencers. “When you’re looking at the valuation, you would have to consider that.”

Ayumi Lashley, 34, started creating social media videos with her husband in 2017. They made it their full-time job in 2020 and the accounts paid for her car and house, she says.

When they divorced in 2023, they both tried to elevate their personal profiles, but their fan base is still attached to a nonexistent relationship. She says she chose not to share much about the split and lost a few thousand followers, while her ex posted more about the divorce.

“A lot of people were very upset with me for not talking about it,” Lashley says. “His career is doing amazing and mine is not.”

Many content creators don’t intend to make videos of their daily outfits forever, even if it isn’t divorce that ends their careers.

“I always joke we’re like NFL players. You get five or 10 good years, but you take one bad hit to the knee and you’re done,” says Vivian Tu, 30, who posts about financial literacy to roughly eight million followers. “You can’t control the algorithms. You can’t control what is in vogue and what’s not.”

Tu says she is preparing for a life away from social media by developing other streams of income, including writing a book and hosting a podcast.

She is also aware of what divorce could do to her business. Tu wrote up a prenuptial agreement that included all her social-media accounts before she got married in June.

“My social media is my résumé,” Tu says. “Why would I allow anybody else to put my work on their résumé?”

Greenland Is Gorgeous and Uncrowded. Now Here Come the Americans.

As European hot spots become overcrowded , travellers are digging deeper to find those less-populated but still brag-worthy locations. Greenland, moving up the list, is bracing for its new popularity.

Aria Varasteh has been to 69 countries, including almost all of Europe. He now wants to visit more remote places and avoid spots swarmed by tourists—starting with Greenland.

“I want a taste of something different,” said the 34-year-old founder of a consulting firm serving clients in the Washington, D.C., area.

He originally planned to go to Nuuk, the island’s capital, this fall via out-of-the-way connections, given there wasn’t a nonstop flight from the U.S. But this month United Airlines announced a nonstop, four-hour flight from Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey to Nuuk. The route, beginning next summer, is a first for a U.S. airline, according to Greenland tourism officials.

It marks a significant milestone in the territory’s push for more international visitors. Airlines ran flights with a combined 55,000 seats to Greenland from April to August of this year, says Jens Lauridsen, chief executive officer of Greenland Airports. That figure will nearly double next year in the same period, he says, to about 105,000 seats.

The possible coming surge of travellers also presents a challenge for a vast island of 56,000 people as nearby destinations from Iceland to Spain grapple with the consequences of over tourism.

Greenlandic officials say they have watched closely and made deliberate efforts to slowly scale up their plans for visitors. An investment north of $700 million will yield three new airports, the first of which will open next month in Nuuk.

“It’s the rumbling before the herd is coming,” says Mads Mitchell, general manager of Hotel Nordbo, a 67-room property in Nuuk. The owner of his property is considering adding 50 more rooms to meet demand in the coming years.

Mitchell has recently met with travel agents from Brooklyn, N.Y., South Korea and China. He says he welcomes new tourists, but fears tourism will grow too quickly.

“Like in Barcelona, you get tired of tourists, because it’s too much and it pushes out the locals, that is my concern,” he says. “So it’s finding this balance of like showing the love for Greenland and showing the amazing possibilities, but not getting too much too fast.”

Greenland’s buildup

Greenland is an autonomous territory of Denmark more than three times the size of Texas. Tourists travel by boat or small aircraft when venturing to different regions—virtually no roads connect towns or settlements.

Greenland decided to invest in airport infrastructure in 2018 as part of an effort to expand tourism and its role in the economy, which is largely dependent on fishing and subsidies from Denmark. In the coming years, airports in Ilulissat and Qaqortoq, areas known for their scenic fjords, will open.

One narrow-body flight, like what United plans, will generate $200,000 in spending, including hotels, tours and other purchases, Lauridsen says. He calls it a “very significant economic impact.”

In 2023, foreign tourism brought a total of over $270 million to Greenland’s economy, according to Visit Greenland, the tourism and marketing arm owned by the government. Expedition cruises visit the territory, as well as adventure tours.

United will fly twice weekly to Nuuk on its 737 MAX 8, which will seat 166 passengers, starting in June .

“We look for new destinations, we look for hot destinations and destinations, most importantly, we can make money in,” Andrew Nocella , United’s chief commercial officer, said in the company’s earnings call earlier in October.

On the runway

Greenland has looked to nearby Iceland to learn from its experiences with tourism, says Air Greenland Group CEO Jacob Nitter Sørensen. Tiny Iceland still has about seven times the population of its western neighbour.

Nuuk’s new airport will become the new trans-Atlantic hub for Air Greenland, the national carrier. It flies to 14 airports and 46 heliports across the territory.

“Of course, there are discussions about avoiding mass tourism. But right now, I think there is a natural limit in terms of the receiving capacity,” Nitter says.

Air Greenland doesn’t fly nonstop from the U.S. because there isn’t currently enough space to accommodate all travellers in hotels, Nitter says. Air Greenland is building a new hotel in Ilulissat to increase capacity when the airport opens.

Nuuk has just over 550 hotel rooms, according to government documents. A tourism analysis published by Visit Greenland predicts there could be a shortage in rooms beginning in 2027. Most U.S. visitors will stay four to 10 nights, according to traveler sentiment data from Visit Greenland.

As travel picks up, visitors should expect more changes. Officials expect to pass new legislation that would further regulate tourism in time for the 2025 season. Rules on zoning would give local communities the power to limit tourism when needed, says Naaja H. Nathanielsen, minister for business, trade, raw materials, justice and gender equality.

Areas in a so-called red zone would ban tour operators. In northern Greenland, traditional hunting takes place at certain times of year and requires silence, which doesn’t work with cruise ships coming in, Nathanielsen says.

Part of the proposal would require tour operators to be locally based to ensure they pay taxes in Greenland and so that tourists receive local knowledge of the culture. Nathanielsen also plans to introduce a proposal to govern cruise tourism to ensure more travelers stay and eat locally, rather than just walk around for a few hours and grab a cup of coffee, she says.

Public sentiment has remained in favour of tourism as visitor arrivals have increased, Nathanielsen says.

—Roshan Fernandez contributed to this article.

Impact Investing Is Turning Mainstream, Report Finds

Impact investing is becoming more mainstream as larger, institutional asset owners drive more money into the sector, according to the nonprofit Global Impact Investing Network in New York.

In the GIIN’s State of the Market 2024 report, published late last month, researchers found that assets allocated to impact-investing strategies by repeat survey responders grew by a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 14% over the last five years.

These 71 responders to both the 2019 and 2024 surveys saw their total impact assets under management grow to US$249 billion this year from US$129 billion five years ago.

Medium- and large-size investors were largely responsible for the strong impact returns: Medium-size investors posted a median CAGR of 11% a year over the five-year period, and large-size investors posted a median CAGR of 14% a year.

Interestingly, the CAGR of assets held by small investors dropped by a median of 14% a year.

“When we drill down behind the compound annual growth of the assets that are being allocated to impact investing, it’s largely those larger investors that are actually driving it,” says Dean Hand, the GIIN’s chief research officer.

Overall, the GIIN surveyed 305 investors with a combined US$490 billion under management from 39 countries. Nearly three-quarters of the responders were investment managers, while 10% were foundations, and 3% were family offices. Development finance institutions, institutional asset owners, and companies represented most of the rest.

The majority of impact strategies are executed through private-equity, but public debt and equity have been the fastest-growing asset classes over the past five years, the report said. Public debt is growing at a CAGR of 32%, and public equity is growing at a CAGR of 19%. That compares to a CAGR of 17% for private equity and 7% for private debt.

According to the GIIN, the rise in public impact assets is being driven by larger investors, likely institutions.

Private equity has traditionally served as an ideal way to execute impact strategies, as it allows investors to select vehicles specifically designed to create a positive social or environmental impact by, for example, providing loans to smallholder farmers in Africa or by supporting fledging renewable energy technologies.

Future Returns: Preqin expects managers to rely on family offices, private banks, and individual investors for growth in the next six years

But today, institutional investors are looking across their portfolios—encompassing both private and public assets—to achieve their impact goals.

“Institutional asset owners are saying, ‘In the interests of our ultimate beneficiaries, we probably need to start driving these strategies across our assets,’” Hand says. Instead of carving out a dedicated impact strategy, these investors are taking “a holistic portfolio approach.”

An institutional manager may want to address issues such as climate change, healthcare costs, and local economic growth so it can support a better quality of life for its beneficiaries.

To achieve these goals, the manager could invest across a range of private debt, private equity, and real estate.

But the public markets offer opportunities, too. Using public debt, a manager could, for example, invest in green bonds, regional bank bonds, or healthcare social bonds. In public equity, it could invest in green-power storage technologies, minority-focused real-estate trusts, and in pharmaceutical and medical-care company stocks with the aim of influencing them to lower the costs of care, according to an example the GIIN lays out in a separate report on institutional  strategies.

Influencing companies to act in the best interests of society and the environment is increasingly being done through such shareholder advocacy, either directly through ownership in individual stocks or through fund vehicles.

“They’re trying to move their portfolio companies to actually solving some of the challenges that exist,” Hand says.

Although the rate of growth in public strategies for impact is brisk, among survey respondents investments in public debt totaled only 12% of assets and just 7% in public equity. Private equity, however, grabs 43% of these investors’ assets.

Within private equity, Hand also discerns more evidence of maturity in the impact sector. That’s because more impact-oriented asset owners invest in mature and growth-stage companies, which are favored by larger asset owners that have more substantial assets to put to work.

The GIIN State of the Market report also found that impact asset owners are largely happy with both the financial performance and impact results of their holdings.

About three-quarters of those surveyed were seeking risk-adjusted, market-rate returns, although foundations were an exception as 68% sought below-market returns, the report said. Overall, 86% reported their investments were performing in line or above their expectations—even when their targets were not met—and 90% said the same for their impact returns.

Private-equity posted the strongest results, returning 17% on average, although that was less than the 19% targeted return. By contrast, public equity returned 11%, above a 10% target.

The fact some asset classes over performed and others underperformed, shows that “normal economic forces are at play in the market,” Hand says.

Although investors are satisfied with their impact performance, they are still dealing with a fragmented approach for measuring it, the report said. “Despite this, over two-thirds of investors are incorporating impact criteria into their investment governance documents, signalling a significant shift toward formalising impact considerations in decision-making processes,” it said.

Also, more investors are getting third-party verification of their results, which strengthens their accountability in the market.

“The satisfaction with performance is nice to see,” Hand says. “But we do need to see more about what’s happening in terms of investors being able to actually track both the impact performance in real terms as well as the financial performance in real terms.”

The cost of friendship: why Australian social circles are shrinking

Australian social circles are shrinking as more people look for ways to keep a lid on spending, a new survey has found.

New research from Finder found more than one fifth of respondents had dropped a friend or reduced their social circle because they were unable to afford the same levels of social activity. The survey questioned 1,041 people about how increasing concerns about affordability were affecting their social lives. The results showed 6 percent had cut ties with a friend, 16 percent were going out with fewer people and 26 percent were going to fewer events. 

Expensive events such as hens’ parties and weddings were among the activities people were looking to avoid, indicating younger people were those most feeling the brunt of cost of living pressures. According to Canstar, the average cost of a wedding in NSW was between $37,108 to $41,245 and marginally lower in Victoria at $36, 358 to $37,430.

But not all age groups are curbing their social circle. While the survey found that 10 percent of Gen Z respondents had cut off a friend, only 2 percent of Baby Boomers had done similar.

Money expert at Finder, Rebecca Pike, said many had no choice but to prioritise necessities like bills over discretionary activities.

“Unfortunately, for some, social activities have become a luxury they can no longer afford,” she said.

The Generosity Power Move That Can Boost Your Career

Connectors always know just who you should talk to. They send the perfect introductory emails: warm, crisp, direct. And they make it look so effortless.

“It’s almost like music or something,” says David Dewane, a Chicago architect who loves introducing contacts from all parts of his life. “If you do it right, what you get is a little flash of possibility for both people.”

And possibility for the connector, too. Call it karma, the power of networks , or even just luck . If you become that hub for your friends and colleagues, it will come back to you, enriching your circles.

I think of people I know in my own life, the ones I speed text when I need a doctor for my kid. I feel so grateful, like they’re these life buoys that help keep me afloat. I wonder: Can the rest of us do that?

“We all develop a point at which the network that we’re in can’t satisfy our needs anymore,” says Brian Uzzi, a professor at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management who studies social network science.

When we become brokers, dipping in and out of various groups, we have access to all kinds of new information: little tips, fresh opportunities. Synthesizing multiple viewpoints, we’re better able to solve problems in innovative ways, Uzzi says. People love us for it.

Getting ahead

Connectors are more likely to get promoted and win bigger bonuses , Uzzi says. In one study of M.B.A. students, those who acted as brokers between cliques were twice as likely to get the best job offers upon graduating, he adds.

The key is to give before you ask.

“The idea of reciprocity is very powerful,” says Greg Pryor, a longtime human-resources executive who now researches organizational psychology topics.

Need a favor while you’re building a relationship, and you’re automatically in debt, he says. Instead, his career has been guided by a pay-it-forward mentality. He ends most calls by asking, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

One time, a colleague asked if Pryor could get an acquaintance of hers up to speed on the topic of corporate culture and values. He spent a day with the friend-of-a-friend and connected her to others in the industry he thought could help.

The woman ended up becoming the chief human resources officer at software company Workday. When Pryor was looking for his next job, he reached out to her. A few weeks later, he was the new head of talent at Workday.

He spent a decade there, the best stretch of his career, he says.

The email formula

There’s an art to crafting the perfect email intro. Dewane, the Chicago architect who’s orchestrated thousands of introductions, is constantly scanning his mental Rolodex for pairs of contacts who can solve each other’s problems. He usually gets preapproval to reach out from both parties, then turns to his formula.

There’s two paragraphs—one for each person. He describes what they do, why he thought of them, and how they’re perfect to connect on this particular thing. He includes hyperlinks to both LinkedIn profiles. And he always puts the person who stands to gain more from the interaction last, queuing them up to initiate contact.

“I get kind of paranoid if intros just hang there,” he says.

If there’s a big difference in power between the two people, he choreographs the thread even more intricately. When connecting architecture students with professionals he knows at design studios, he’ll inform the students that he’s sending the email at 8 a.m. They are to reply by 8:04 a.m.

“I am going to open the door and then you are going to walk through it,” he says.

Oftentimes people freeze as they sit down to pen an email, scared of overpromising, says Erica Dhawan, a St. Petersburg, Fla.-based leadership consultant and author of a book about digital communication. Sliding into someone’s inbox involves risk. You’re encroaching on their time and looping yourself to two disparate contacts who may or may not hit it off.

Dhawan recommends using the phrase, “no guilt, no obligation,” when asking people if they’re open to connecting.

“I want them to feel like there’s mutual benefit,” she says, not like they’re doing her a favor.

Worst intro ever

Being on the receiving end of an introduction can also leave your stomach in knots, if it’s not done right.

“I’m in an email thread and I’m like, I don’t know why I’m here,” says Khaled Bashir, the founder of a marketing agency and AI startup in Toronto. “What am I supposed to do?”

Fellow founders will often connect him with potential clients. At least he thinks that’s what they are. The context is sometimes missing, and he’d appreciate a funny icebreaker so he can slide into the conversation without it having to be all business.

Bad intros can have happy endings, though.

Years back, Bashir was thrown into a random WhatsApp group by a client. No explanation, just him and one other guy. It turned out the other person was a fellow agency owner. The pair became fast friends. They bonded over the synergies in their work and a love of Japanese comics. Now, Bashir is selling the marketing part of his business to the friend, a move that will let him focus on growing his AI offerings.

Bon appétit

To make connections less awkward, add food. Michael Magdelinskas, who works in government affairs for a consulting firm, hosts frequent dinner parties at his Manhattan apartment. Over sous-vide pork chops and cognac ice cream, he brings together everyone from former colleagues to acquaintances visiting from overseas.

He crafts guest lists by thinking about common hobbies, hometowns and the ratio of introverts to extroverts. Recently, a group of attendees formed their own Instagram chat thread, bonding over an inside joke. They didn’t even think to include Magdelinskas.

“That’s a good thing,” he says. “That means the process is working.”

Behind Many Powerful Women on Wall Street: A Doting ‘Househusband’

Suzanne Donohoe , a top executive at the private-equity firm EQT , started the month of September with a 10-day business trip through Asia and Europe. Back in New York, her husband, Matt Donohoe , was helping their three teenagers begin a new school year.

That was no simple task. Though the Donohoe children are close in age, each goes to a different school and has different extracurricular activities. Matt drove their 13-year-old to hockey practices in New Jersey and took all three children to Boston for a tournament. In between, there were groceries to buy, meals to prepare and homework to assist with.

It was all in a day’s work for Matt, who quit his job in 2007 to help out at home. A former emerging-markets trader with degrees from Georgetown and Columbia, he is part of a quiet but growing force of men who hold down the fort at home while their wives climb to the upper echelons of finance.

Wall Street has long struggled to elevate and retain women. A hotly competitive industry that demands long hours, frequent travel and the need to be on call constantly, it has been an unwelcoming environment for women, particularly those with children.

Women who have leadership roles in finance say that having a spouse who stays home—a househusband, if you will—can relieve that burden and allow them to rise. Even these privileged women, who have a spouse at home and often extra help beyond that, say maintaining the arrangements is a complex feat.

Chip Kelly has so far decided against going back to work because his family relies on his presence at home. Photo: Emli Bendixen for WSJ

For the men, being a househusband can come with a stigma: Society often still assumes men will be the bigger earners and women the primary caregivers. But that is starting to change.

In 45% of U.S. opposite-sex marriages, the wife earns as much as or more than her husband, a share that has roughly tripled over the past 50 years, according to a 2023 report from Pew Research Center. Dads represented 18% of stay-at-home parents in 2021, up from 11% in 1989, another Pew study found.

There are now househusbands at the highest levels of power. Doug Emhoff , married to Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris, gave up his career—as an entertainment lawyer—to facilitate her political rise after she was elected vice president. On Wall Street, the list of women with husbands at home includes the chief executives of Citigroup and TIAA, the chief financial officer of the private-equity firm Vista Equity Partners, and the global co-head of Blackstone’s real-estate business, among others.

Senior female executives whose partners also work say they have to manage an intense balancing act and admit to being envious at times of their peers whose husbands don’t work.

“The prototype of the person you are competing with, the people in nearly all of the successful positions, have a stay-at-home partner,” says Suzanne Donohoe, who was a partner at Goldman Sachs and KKR before joining EQT in 2022. “The disheartening part of the message is somehow you can’t achieve if one parent isn’t at home.”

She says she doesn’t think that is the case and knows and admires people in demanding jobs who make it work with neither spouse at home.

‘Safety net for a trapeze artist’

Many couples say they started out with parallel professions but reached a point at which the woman’s career accelerated. When one person needed to devote more time to parenting, it made more sense for it to be the man.

Chip Kelly was working in tech sales at an international startup in 2009 when his wife, Natalie Hyche Kelly, who is a Visa executive, gave birth to their first child. After the couple didn’t move quickly enough to get a spot at the daycare they wanted, Chip volunteered to care for the baby and work while she slept.

He took calls while pushing their daughter in the stroller. When she went to sleep, he worked through dozens of emails. The couple had twins a few years later. Around that time, Natalie was promoted and started commuting to San Francisco four days a week from Charlotte, N.C., where the Kellys lived. Chip tried to work while caring for the twins and their older daughter when she wasn’t in preschool.

After the family moved to San Francisco, Chip realised that he was neither doing his job nor parenting as well as he wanted to. He decided to devote himself full time to the latter.

“It was kind of becoming a no-brainer because my wife’s career was going so well,” he says.

The Kellys are now starting their third year in London, where Natalie serves as the payments company’s chief risk officer for Europe. Chip considered going back to work a few years ago, but so far has decided against that because his family relies on his being at home.

Chip Kelly at his family’s London home. Photo: Emli Bendixen for wsj (2)

“I’m like the safety net for a trapeze artist,” he says. “You don’t think about it unless they take it away.”

Kathleen McCarthy Baldwin, Blackstone’s global co-head of real estate, was nursing her second child in 2015 when her husband, Matt Baldwin, left his job as the CFO of a research firm and decided to take some time off.

“The idea of him not working made me very anxious, mostly because of my fears about what it would do to our marriage,” she says. “Would I be envious that he had more time with the children? Would he resent that I had this really exciting and demanding job?”

Matt told her he wasn’t worried. After spending a summer with their daughters at the Jersey Shore while Kathleen mostly worked in the city, Matt decided to make the change permanent.

These days, he rises at 5:30 a.m., before the rest of the house is awake. He makes oatmeal for the family four mornings a week, giving himself one morning off. On most days, Kathleen takes the girls to school while Matt goes indoor rock climbing.

After school, he and their nanny divide the responsibilities, with one taking the older daughter to sports practice, drama and guitar lessons and the other transporting the younger one to swimming lessons, violin and dance. Matt, who has become a skilled cook, usually makes dinner. Specialties include salmon, soft-cooked eggs and spicy pasta.

Kathleen says her husband’s decision to stay home created the flexibility for her to pursue other interests outside work, such as serving on the board of an anti-hunger nonprofit.

“When I talk with other women in this position, we all say our husbands are a very special breed,” she says. “They don’t define themselves by their jobs.”

Awkward moments

Not all men are as comfortable in the position.

One stay-at-home dad whose wife works in private wealth at an investment bank says he sometimes tells other men that he manages real estate—technically true because the family owns a few buildings. He says he can identify other men in his position at private-school functions when they say they “manage investments” or “run a boutique hedge fund.”

“We’re all out there, but we can’t say anything about it,” he says.

Paul Sullivan has been trying to change that. He founded a group called the Company of Dads after leaving his job as a columnist for the New York Times in 2021. Sullivan’s wife runs an asset-management firm and became very busy with work after the Covid-19 pandemic.

Sullivan already defined himself as what he dubs a “lead dad,” the go-to parent for everything from playdates and doctors’ appointments. But he found no support groups for men in his position. He reached out to senior female executives and asked them about the idea of creating one. They approved. Some said their husbands didn’t help enough. Others said their husband’s friends made fun of them, calling them names like “Mr. Mom.”

“Two things can be true at once,” Sullivan says. “Moms can be discriminated against in the workplace, and dads can be afraid to take a lead role at home.”

Sullivan now organises events for lead dads such as a Father’s Day beer fest and a March Madness get-together. He gives talks at workplaces and hosts a podcast on which he interviews therapists, parenting coaches and fatherhood advocates. He counts the husbands of Goldman Sachs partners, JPMorgan Chase managing directors and top law partners among his members.

For the Donohoes, having Matt at home has meant that he has developed a close bond with his children. Suzanne says it has given her credibility with her colleagues when she needs to attend one of their doctor’s appointments or sporting events.

There are still mix-ups. Schools often call Suzanne first if one of the children is sick or needs permission to do something even though Matt is listed first on contact forms. Once it happened when she was in London on business. She gently asked the school administrator to call her husband. He was at their apartment five minutes away.